French spoken here

SQUINT, and you’d think you were in France.

Now open a little wider. Provencal tablecloths cover the tables in the narrow little Bistro de l’Hermitage; bottles of wine line one side of the bar; specials are scrawled on a chalkboard. Likely as not, the waiter will address you in French.

The place is packed with a lively, chattering crowd, young people and older folks, French expats here and there, everyone elbow-to-elbow, drinking wine, digging into smoked trout salad or roast chicken. But we’re not in the 17th arrondissement; we’re in Culver City.

It’s the kind of place that makes you consider an aperitif -- they’re even listed on the menu. Where else but a really French spot would you see Porto (port) listed as an apero? Kir sounds nice too, or vermouth.

We make it a pastis. Order the anise-flavored drink in most L.A. restaurants or bars, and you have to explain how to serve it properly. Here, for the French waiter, it’s a reflex. He knows you want just an inch or so in a glass with a couple of ice cubes, a carafe of water on the side. This way you can dilute it as much as you like, the water turning the yellow liquor cloudy white. Usually, when you do find pastis in L.A., it’s Pernod; here, it’s a more working-class brand: Garnier.

We must be in France, it’s taking so long for the sole waiter to get around to taking our order. Over here, over here! But the place really is packed, and it looks like everyone’s in a hurry.

Finally we grab him, ordering escargots, foie gras, a charcuterie plate, duck mousse pate. To follow, duck legs confits, a rib-eye steak (entrecote, to you, cheri) and a tenderloin of veal.

And the wine? There are no producers or vintages listed, just St.-Emilion or Crozes-Hermitage or St.-Julien, and the price. You have to interview the waiter to find out what’s what. (Later we realize that’s why the bottles are lined up on the bar -- they’re visual aids.) We get the St.-Julien, a 2000 Connetable Talbot. I asked to have the wine decanted, which elicits an argument from the waiter (how French!), who’s never heard of decanting a young wine, but at last he agrees.

Then everyone vanishes. What happened, we ask. Was it something we said? No, the waiter says, it’s 8. Curtain time.

Oh, right -- we’re just around the corner from the Kirk Douglas Theatre.

Now our party is literally the only one in the place. The service stretches out; the kitchen takes its time with everything. What’s the rush? We’ve got wine, we’ve got bread ... we’ve got wine.

Finally, the first courses land; each (even the escargots) accompanied by a nicely dressed green salad with perfectly cooked haricots verts. The duck foie gras cries out for Sauternes; a glass of Rieussec does the trick. Imported from France, the two slices of foie are satisfying, though not as impressive as the locally produced foie served here before the placed changed hands last June. The escargots, while plump, with a good dose of parsley and garlic, are woefully undersalted. (It’s the Culver City crowd, the waiter explains. They think salt is unhealthy.)

Then, after a leisurely, very French interval, the main courses arrive. OK, maybe this isn’t the place for a steak or something fancy like veal tenderloin. But the duck legs confits are just right -- properly unctuous, and nicely salty (unlike just about everything else). Clearly, the idea here is go French, all the way. If the French jazz-loving tourists and expats who crowd into nearby La Dijonaise before concerts at the Jazz Bakery knew what they were missing just a few blocks west, they’d never go back.

All the main courses come with a choice of either basmati rice (mais non, not French enough) or luscious, creamy potato gratin dauphinois and some generic mixed vegetables.

For dessert, no hesitation. There’s a decent selection of cheeses, including Epoisse and Tomme de Savoie. But behold the tarte tatin. Flaky crust, beautifully caramelized, very apple-y. And perfectly French.

*

Bistro de l’Hermitage

Where: 9727 Culver Blvd., Culver City

When: Lunch 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Mondays-Fridays; dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Tuesdays-Thursdays, 5:15-10 p.m. Fridays-Saturdays; brunch 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturdays. Closed Sundays. Wine and beer.

Cost: Dinner appetizers, $5 to $14; main courses, $12.50 to $38; desserts, $4 to $7

Info: (310) 815-8222