The Arm of the Law Had a Finger on These Scales

Worst -- alibi -- of -- the - week honors go to the guy who was arrested at Long Beach Airport after flunking the security screening. The Beachcomber newspaper said his luggage contained some scales, “which he said were used to determine postage.”

What he couldn’t explain were the 3 pounds of methamphetamines and a pipe found with his scales.

Second-worst alibi: In Claremont, a woman was pulled over by police when a check of her license plate indicated her car was stolen.

She insisted she was given the car by “a man named George in Pomona, though she could not recall his last name or his address,” the Claremont Courier said.

She admitted “she had an inkling that the car was stolen -- the radio was missing and the key didn’t fit all the way into the ignition -- but she took it anyway,” the newspaper said.

I don’t think it will surprise you to learn she was arrested.

But where do iguanas go? At a Brentwood vet’s office, Sal Lombardo noticed a pair of signs designed to prevent confrontations between two traditional antagonists (see photo).

No roll model: John Rabe spotted an unusual warning on the back of a truck on a local freeway (see photo).

Unreal estate: Ex-Southern Californians Chuck and Maxine Tichenor sent word that property is so expensive in Oklahoma that lots are no longer measured in feet (see accompanying).

The latest in cattle herders? A colleague found an ad for a boat that’s apparently at home on the open range (see accompanying).

Impromptu men’s room: In her witty memoir, “Remember to Laugh,” ex-L.A. Times reporter Maggie Kilgore recalls the time she was flying with troops in Vietnam when “the pilot sent word that I was welcome to ride in the cockpit, ostensibly for a better view of the landscape.” Kilgore was “determined to be treated like one of the guys and avoid favoritism just because I was a woman,” so she declined the offer.

Then “a nice colonel clued me in that I’d better accept, because there were about 115 men on board who weren’t using the open hose latrine system in the tail of the plane because I was riding with them and they were pretty damned uncomfortable.”

Added Kilgore: “I moved up front.”

miscelLAny: It’s bad enough that the Angels baseball team forces Anaheim to share its name with Los Angeles. Now, writer David Allen informs me of another possible civic identity crisis. The sci-fi movie “A Scanner Darkly” has two scenes in which the ID cards of characters spell out their city of residence as “Anahiem.”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.