Even a cash bar can’t quell spirits

Moments after the Emmys ended Sunday night, the tented corridor behind the Shrine was in gridlock as the massive trophy-wielding staffs of “24” and “The Office” jostled their way out of the press tent, into the Governors Ball. “ ‘24’ this way!” a publicist called out.

Actress Mary Lynn Rajskub who plays Chloe, “24’s” quirky computer genius, struggled to keep her lengthy and decidedly unnerdy formal gown (“It’s called Pink Princess on a Cloud,” she explained) above the fray. “I had to put my shoes back on when we won,” she said mournfully.

In the “Office” clutch, writer-costar B.J. Novak looked at his statue and reflected, “I watched the ‘in memoriam’ and wondered if when I died I’d be up there. Now it’s a tiny bit more likely I will be.” Entering the ballroom, his co-writer, costar Paul Lieberstein, who plays Toby, the show’s beleaguered human resources officer, looked at his statue with a hint of fear and chagrin, particularly at the remarkably sharp points of the angel’s wings. “I’ve already scooped up one of Steve Carell’s cufflinks with his.” Eyeing his fellow cast members’ barely aloft gowns, he sighed, “Mostly, I’m worried about this thing.”

The vast ballroom was crammed to the gills with tables, numbers running up to the 500s, many set under largish shade trees, to give a sort of picnic feel to the fiesta, as much as a black-tie party filled with industry schmoozing can resemble a casual spread on the grass. In the center of the room, a big band played “Perfidia” while revolving on a giant Lazy Susan. After sitting still for three hours during the show, the liberated crowd milled energetically, universally neglecting the shrimp and avocado salads on the tables.

The tables packed together thick, the room was cluttered with traffic bottlenecks as people searched for their places. Laura Stupsker, a post-production supervisor for “American Dad,” turned and barreled into someone in a narrow passage. “That’s awesome,” she exclaimed. “I just hit Ron Jeremy.”

Sitting down, “Weeds” creator Jenji Kohan had a few unprintable words for the management. “A cash bar! Eleven dollars a drink! And it was not a generous pour!”

At the British “Office” table, strangely placed on the opposite end of the room from the American “Office” table, Ricky Gervais overflowed with excitement.

“I’ve always wanted to be part of this industry,” he said, describing his love for American TV.

Asked how this affair would compare with a similar event in Britain, “We haven’t got the stars you have here. Look around, it’s the people who work on the great, great shows. ‘The Sopranos.’ ‘The Simpsons.’ ‘Arrested Development.’ ‘24.’ They’re all right here. The spectacle is here. Conan O’Brien doing a song and dance about how the network he’s on is failing! It’s audacious! It’s incredible!” At the table behind him, Bob Newhart and friends ate, relatively unmolested by the bustle.

At Warren Beatty and Annette Bening’s table, a little girl sat alone, forlornly eating her dinner while the adults all stood deep in conversation nearby. Beatty huddled with two very very serious-looking men, who crossed their arms tightly and nodded, reflecting somber depths as the star conferred, all looking very much like a president and his national security advisors making the final preparations for a bombing campaign.

Next door, the “House” staff seemed cheery, despite their trophy-less table. Peter Blake, a supervising producer on the show, reflected on the post-show ball tradition, “It seems pretty ill-conceived to throw a party where you’re guaranteed four-fifths of the guests will be losers.” His executive producer, Dan Sackheim, nodded: “The music helps accentuate that mood.”

Whether the sounds were of victory or defeat was debatable, but the music soon took over the room, as Seal took the bandstand to sing “Mona Lisa.” For one moment, the party became semi-focused, as people crowded around to listen.

I saw Donald Sutherland standing quietly in an aisle and introduced myself. “I’m from the L.A. Times,” I said. “That’s not my fault!” he shouted back, taking a grand step back. Promising not to hold him responsible for my fate, I asked him how he was enjoying himself. “I’m glowing!” he said. He reached into his pocket, took out an envelope and unfolded it, revealing the large-type writing inside: “The Emmy goes to Kiefer Sutherland.” He nodded and put the envelope carefully back in his pocket. “That’s all,” he said, and walked away.

No modern Hollywood gala would be complete without a visit with Kathy Griffin. The self-proclaimed D-lister occupied a central aisle flanked by the most distinctive date in the house, in full Army dress, Maj. Todd Breasseale, just back from Iraq with a chest-full of medals.

“Everyone keeps pointing at the medals, laughing and saying, ‘Great idea,’ like it’s some kind of joke or gimmick,’ Breasseale told me.

Griffin stopped every third passing celeb to take a picture with her and the major, whom she got to know while doing a USO tour of the region.

“I’ve started taking these,” she explained, “because I realized when people come to your house, no one wants to see pictures of your family. They want to see celebrity pictures.”

Most, including Tyra Banks and Amy Poehler, happily obliged and posed. Emmy host O’Brien was not so game, however, Griffin said.

“For some reason I’m banned from his show. And I went over to him and tapped on his shoulder and kept tapping and tapping and he wouldn’t look at me and finally I just said, ‘OK, goodbye.’ ”

Griffin soon was distracted by a man who introduced himself as the Ford rep “from the gifting lounge,” offering her a one-month loan of a car.

“One month!” she moaned. “Just because I lost to ... ‘Extreme Home Makeover.’ I bet they get three months.”

“Are you going to use it in the show?” the rep asked.

“Of course we’ll use it! Are you high? I’m on Bravo!”

By 10, the party was rapidly emptying, with people making a run for the limo line, hoping to break out in time to get across town to the unofficial parties, TV Guide’s at Social Hollywood and HBO’s at Pacific Design Center being two of the most coveted invites.

Newly arrived chocolate mousse cakes sat abandoned and ignored as the circus migrated across town.