World Cup Could Use Version of Black Hole
Different parts of the world, different perspectives.
“They don’t relate to us, we don’t relate to them,” writes Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times in reference to soccer in the U.S. compared with elsewhere.
“Our soccer is a fringe sport of moms, kids and die-hards, contrary to their football, a life-or-death psychosis that can breed hooliganism, suicide and occasional murder if a player heads a ball into his own net.”
What Mariotti failed to mention was that our football has a psychotic element too. It’s called Raiders fans.
Trivia time: UCLA has the winningest college athletics program with 99 national titles. What schools are second and third?
Say it ain’t so-so: Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post referred to the Rockies as a mediocre baseball team. How average?
At one point last week they were 32-32, 16-16 at home, 16-16 on the road, and winners of five of their previous 10 games. Plus, they ranked eighth in the 16-team National League in earned-run average.
Not to be goaded: Before the U.S. tied Italy, 1-1, an Italian reporter told U.S. Coach Bruce Arena, “The Italian players say they will try to win for the Italian soldiers in Europe. And you?”
Arena’s response: “We’re not going to try to win for the Italian soldiers in Europe.”
No comprende: Mark Bradley of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a system for watching World Cup soccer.
“When Dave O’Brien is calling a match for ESPN or ABC, I switch to Univision. Do I speak Spanish? Why, no. But I’d rather understand next to nothing than to listen to someone who knows less about soccer than I do.”
Lesson learned: On the Arizona Diamondbacks’ releasing pitcher Russ Ortiz in the middle of a four-year, $33-million contract he signed in 2004, essentially giving him $21.5 million to quit, Joseph Reaves of the Arizona Republic offered this:
“No one in baseball ever was so unwanted that a team would throw away enough to pay the starting salaries of 761 Arizona schoolteachers for a year to make him go away.”
Wie in with a 74: Michelle Wie, 16, garnered a No. 74 ranking in Forbes’ 35th annual list of the World’s Most Powerful Celebrities. She’s the youngest celebrity on a list that has Tiger Woods (No. 5) as the top athlete.
Atop the list are Tom Cruise and the Rolling Stones.
Fast delivery: Oakland’s Esteban Loaiza had some of his pitches clocked at 93 mph in his first outing since being arrested on suspicion of drunk driving after being clocked by police driving 120 mph, prompting David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram to write:
“I don’t know about you, but the only pitcher I want who drives faster than he throws is a knuckleballer.”
Trivia answer: Stanford (92) and USC (84).
And finally: From Armstrong of the Denver Post: “After years of wondering, I finally figured out why the rest of the world is so attracted to soccer. You can take a bathroom break, write a column, clean the garage and hit the shower without missing a thing.”
