He Can Call Defenses, Just Not the Plumber

CBS basketball commentator Billy Packer is a little behind the times in our technology-driven culture. On HBO’s “Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel” tonight at 10, Packer tells correspondent Frank Deford that he has no cellphone, no car phone and no pager.

Says Deford: “Do you use indoor plumbing, Billy?”

Packer: “Yeah, we use indoor plumbing -- that we do. But if anything goes wrong, you can count on me not being the guy to fix it.”

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Trivia time: Packer, 66, was a starting guard on what 1962 Final Four team?

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One solution: When Packer is working a game for CBS, in front of him, as is the case with almost all broadcasters, is a cough button he can hit when he wants to silence his microphone and a talk-back switch for when he wants to talk to his producer.

“I’m never sure which is which,” Packer tells Deford, “so I never use either one.”

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Oscar theme: For Channel 4 sportscaster Mario Solis, Sunday night’s sports report on the 11 p.m. news wasn’t an Academy Award-winning performance, but the effort was there. Solis worked as many movie titles into his report as possible.

He said the Clippers are trying to become “Cinderella Men,” and hoping that the team’s opponent that night, the Memphis Grizzlies, would “Crash.” He called the Clippers’ Vladimir Radmanovic, whom the Clippers acquired from the Seattle SuperSonics on Feb. 14, the man from the “North Country.”

And he went on from there.

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Jack and Regis: Regis Philbin, attending a recent Laker game against Boston, failed in his attempt to get next to Jack Nicholson. So Philbin left a note on Nichsolson’s car that read, “I was here. Sorry I missed you.”

It got the desired effect. On Monday, Nicholson called into ABC’s “Live With Regis and Kelly” and invited Philbin to go to a future Laker game with him.

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A “runaway” promotion: The Gwinnett Gladiators, a minor-league hockey team that plays its games in Duluth, Ga., held an unusual bobblehead doll giveaway promotion Sunday. The team “honored” possibly Duluth’s most famous resident, Jennifer Wilbanks, the “runaway bride” who bailed out on her wedding last April.

The team presented dolls to the first 1,000 people through the door. People lined up hours before the game, and the dolls were gone in 10 minutes.

The promotion had a disclaimer that “any similarity to actual persons is unintended and purely coincidental.” The dolls came with what supposedly were Adidas running shoes. Except they were labeled “Adios.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1996, Magic Johnson became the second NBA player, behind John Stockton, to reach 10,000 assists. Johnson did it on a pass to Elden Campbell in a 102-89 victory for the Lakers at Sacramento.

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Trivia answer: Wake Forest.

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And finally: Richard Oliver of the San Antonio Express-News, on Google’s selling a downloadable video of Kobe Bryant’s 81-point game: “It’s a steal at $3.95, or less than $2 per assist.”

Larry Stewart can be reached at larry.stewart@latimes.com.