Lowering the Bar While Going Belly-Up

I have this picture of Joe Beimel sitting in a bar back in Los Angeles and telling all the fellas, “I could’ve gotten us out of that jam.”

Just imagine how much fun it would’ve been, getting the chance to sit around with a real live Dodger who would’ve been on the 25-man roster had he not been out on the town before all this started, now watching the playoffs with him on TV, and maybe hearing the inside scoop on what he really thinks of J.D. Drew.

Would good old Joe have second-guessed Manager Grady Little -- and it’s hard not to these days -- knowing Kenny Lofton would begin the night 0 for 11 against Mets starter Tom Glavine, and then make it 0 for 14?

Tough to get going when the second guy in the batting order is a designated out.

I know this, like everyone else it would’ve been hard for good old Joe not to giggle when the bus scheduled to take the Dodgers out of town pulled up in sight just beyond the center-field fence with Lofton standing at the plate and two strikes already against him.

At that point in the evening, I’m sure someone in the bar would’ve probably yelled, “All aboard.”

Lofton struck out, of course, just like the listless Dodgers, who lost, 4-1, and are now down, two playoff games to none -- needing only to win the next three against the Mets to advance in the playoffs. Is that any more difficult than hitting four straight home runs in the ninth inning? Depends, I guess, on whether Lofton is due up.

“We’ve proved it bunch of times that we can come back,” said Jeff Kent. “This team just needs to come out fighting.”

Hitting might be a better suggestion, and maybe the Dodger Stadium crowd will make a difference, everyone chanting “J.D. Drew” and crossing their fingers as well -- that just maybe he’ll wake up before the season comes to an end.

Here in Shea Stadium, the moment was too much for Drew -- one infield single in eight at-bats, with the passive one taking a called third strike with two on in the fourth and the Dodgers in need of a jolt from their most talented player.

Ready to ask him why he’s been a no-show so far, I should not have been surprised to find his locker completely empty in the clubhouse when the media was admitted. Usually, though, he hides before a game.

The Dodgers had two men on base again in the fifth, the last time that would happen all night, but wouldn’t you know it, it was Lofton’s turn in the batting order.

Did Little give any thought before the game to benching Lofton and going with someone who didn’t strike out three times in the first game and who might at least have had a hit in the past against Glavine? “Very little,” Little said.

Lofton broke a bat hitting a dribbler to second in the fifth, rally over, and when I asked him about it, he just bent over and began putting powder between each of his toes. Surprisingly, he didn’t miss any of them, which had to be a victory of sorts for him.

I gave it another try in case he hadn’t heard me, but got the same thing the Dodgers have gotten from him to date in these playoffs -- nothing.

That took me to Rafael Furcal, who had sparked just about every Dodgers uprising down the stretch, but who has gone only one for seven with a walk in the series. Unlike Drew and Lofton, he was willing to hold himself accountable.

“It’s very bad; I’m the leadoff hitter and I feel so bad for not getting on,” Furcal said. “I’m trying to do my best, but baseball is like that.”

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Hong-Chih Kuo tried to do his best, which was pretty good against the Mets considering he has one major league win to his credit and was matched against a crafty veteran closing in on 300 victories.

Had the Dodgers’ offense capitalized on scoring opportunities in the fourth and fifth innings, well, good old Joe could tell you all about blown chances.

The Dodgers needed Beimel on Wednesday night, and again Thursday when they called on Mark Hendrickson, who couldn’t get the job done. Now they need a miracle.

They need a limping Nomar Garciaparra to make a quick trip to Lourdes, a Marlon Anderson-like spark from somebody with a bat in his hands, and another Jose Lima-like playoff performance from Greg Maddux.

Then it would come down to Brad Penny on Sunday, and whoever might come in to pitch in his place to start the second inning.

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Dodgers General Manager Ned Colletti bristled when asked about Beimel, and why he hadn’t called Beimel to talk about conflicting reports about how he hurt himself. Colletti said he didn’t want to distract the players, who already were well aware of how Beimel hurt himself -- several of them having witnessed the accident in the bar. Someone also mentioned the Jagermeister Girls might have seen the whole thing, and Colletti is worried about distractions?

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Shawn King -- Mrs. Larry King -- got the crowd going with her rendition of the national anthem, while also standing tall as an attractive reminder that if you go 0 for 6 when it comes to marriage, there’s still a good chance of hitting a home run on that seventh attempt.

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The Dodgers made only one player available to the media before the game: Julio Lugo, who could talk about taking a called third strike in his only appearance in Game 1 and a burning desire to play anywhere but in L.A. next season. It looks as if it won’t be long before he gets his wish.

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I ASKED Tom Lasorda if he had second-guessed Little’s decision to pitch Penny in relief a night earlier instead of Brett Tomko, forgetting for a moment that this was the same guy who had Tom Niedenfuer pitch to Jack Clark -- so never mind.

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By the way, Lasorda lost the wager with Page 2, and will now have to buy $1,000 worth of toys and play Santa Claus at the Dec. 12 Christmas party for Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA. Anyone who wants to contribute to the Christmas toy fund, and keep Santa passing out toys all night long, just let me know.

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.