So, where were we?

FOR those of you who’ve been following along, here’s a quick brush-up on last season’s cliffhangers. Missed a swath of a series? There’s still time for a DVD binge. Or consider this the total-immersion course and wade right in.

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Lost

Locke, why didn’t you listen to Mr. Eko and press the button? Jack, Kate, Sawyer: Don’t hate the player -- hate the game. Michael had no choice but to serve you all up to the Others in exchange for his son, Walt. There’s a mysterious woman in the real world looking for Desmond. Did their love affair cause the mayhem of the previous 67 days? And where did Sayid, Jin and Sun end up? As lost as we are? (ABC, 9 p.m. Oct. 4)

**

Desperate Housewives

Carlos was doing the nasty with the surrogate mom, so it’s single- mommy time for Gabrielle. Tom did the nasty a long time ago with a dancer who had his baby, and now Lynette must live with his second family moving into town. Susan moved into a trailer after Edie burned down her house and had planned to propose to Mike -- who stood her up because he was busy being hit by a car. Bree escaped from the loony bin to save her daughter, Danielle, from the murdering Matthew. Andrew is still missing in action, after Bree abandoned him. Zach let his grandfather die and inherited his wealth but refuses to help his convict daddy get out of jail. Betty Applewhite ... who cares? (ABC, 9 p.m. next Sunday)

**

CSI

Capt. Jim Brass was shot and pulled through. When we last saw Grissom, he was in bed, wearing a nightshirt, talking to seemingly no one about how he would prefer to die. Sara (yes, Sara!) emerged from the bathroom wearing a robe and told him she wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Need we say more? (CBS, 9 p.m. Thursday)

**

The Office

Dunder-Mifflin converted its warehouse into a gambling hall for Casino Night, and Michael convinced everyone that the boozing and gambling would be in the name of charities such as the Boy Scouts (because they don’t sell cookies) or Comic Relief (which doesn’t exist) or Afghans with AIDS (which turns out to be Aid for Afghanistan). Michael juggled two women, but the real love triangle brewing involves Pam, her fiance and Jim, who confused her by professing his love and kissing her. With his tongue. (NBC, 8:30 p.m. Thursday)

**

My Name Is Earl

Turns out that the guy Earl stole $10 from to buy his winning lottery ticket had tried to steal Earl’s lottery ticket a year ago when Earl had been hit by a car. As the man tried to flee the scene, the same car that had hit Earl hit him. His stolen ticket had flown away and landed back in Earl’s hands. So Earl got to scratch off item No. 1 from his list: “Stole ten dollars from a guy at the Camden Market” and keep the loot. Karma, you’re so sweet! (NBC, 8 p.m. Thursday)

**

Grey’s Anatomy

Seattle Grace had a prom (long story) and Meredith and Derek had a romp (finally!) while their dates waited outside. Cristina and Burke fretted over the possibility that he may not be able to operate again after being shot. Denny died, and so did Izzie’s career. Callie said “I love you” and George didn’t. (ABC, 9 p.m. Thursday)

**

How I Met Your Mother

Lily and Marshall broke off their engagement so that she could enroll in a summer art program in San Francisco and find herself ... on the same night that Ted and Robin, whom we were told in the pilot is not the One, were getting it on for the first time in her apartment. Nothing makes sense anymore! Say something, Barney! (CBS, 8:30 p.m. Monday)

**

Battlestar Galactica

President Roslin should have stolen the election. Because when she decided to be all ethical and stuff, the corrupt and mad Gaius Baltar won the presidency and decided to colonize a gross planet, when he wasn’t drinking and whoring. That left the remaining human population vulnerable to another Cylon invasion, which happened in the final moments of Season 2. (Sci Fi, 9 p.m. Oct. 6)

**

Sleeper Cell

The FBI managed to thwart the cell’s evil plan to gas Dodger Stadium, and the terrorists Christian and Tommy met their maker. Somehow in all of this brouhaha, Michael’s identity as an FBI agent remained intact, so he’ll be able to continue his undercover investigation. And Farik, the cell’s mastermind, was taken into custody, but you know that’s not going to stop him. (Showtime, tentatively beginning Dec. 10)

**

Rome

As many times as you tell these Caesars to beware the ides of March, they never do listen. All seemed well in the life of Julius C.; the Pompeyan rebellion was dust, his cozy dictatorship was dismantling the Roman republic and he had made his big, cool friend Lucius Vorenus a senator. But then those ides! Caesar’s trusted little buddy Brutus joined forces with the sniveling Cassius to take down Caesar in the unkindest cut of all. (HBO, January)

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maria.elena.fernandez@latimes.com

Times staff writers Kate Aurthur and Richard Rushfield contributed to this report.