Don’t ask Kobe’s opinion of Mitch’s performance

LAS VEGAS -- This time the Kobester didn’t pass on best regards to Fred and Tracy, or poke me in the ribs like we were buddies again.

Every time I mentioned the Lakers, he groaned, so we know he’s no different than most Lakers fans these days.

But does he still want to be a Laker? Will he still be a Laker?

He started it. He raised the issue earlier this summer, the big baby throwing quite the tantrum and letting everyone know how unhappy he was with teammates and front office executives -- calling Jerry Buss an idiot.

The last time we chatted, the USA basketball team had gathered here for workouts. Maybe he got a nap, or his tummy was full, but whatever the reason, the big baby handled questions about the issues that he had raised earlier with poise and charm. Some suggested that he was just trying to work on his image given the number of national reporters on hand last month.

When it came time for Wednesday’s session, most of the media not arriving until next week’s games begin, it was only me and the Kobester. And he moaned. Here I am, taking valuable time away from the Choking Dogs, who need all the help they can get, and not for one second did he show his appreciation.

“So, what do you think of the Garnett deal?” I began.

“As far as what?” he snipped.

“Are you disappointed the Lakers couldn’t make something happen?”

“I don’t have a reaction either way,” he said. “I don’t think about it too much.”

“You don’t think about the Lakers, and what they could or could not do to improve after everything you had to say?”

“Why should I?”

This was not the same guy I had met a few weeks ago. I don’t know, maybe he was uptight because he was one of three players picked to take a drug test. He was clearly on edge and I hadn’t even mentioned Mitch Kupchak’s name yet.

I had called the Lakers’ publicity department to ask about Kupchak’s availability, but was put on hold where I had to listen to Smush Parker highlights. And the Kobester thinks he has it rough.

I hung up, the Lakers called back, and I was told Kupchak was on vacation until the 24th. I’m not surprised he left town after what he told the Daily News recently. “If this was the team that we started the season off with, I’d be fine with it. I feel that we’re an improved team over last year.”

I read those comments to the Kobester and said, “So what do you say?”

“Talk to Mitch about it, man,” he said, obviously forgetting my first name. “If that’s what he feels, that’s what he feels.”

He had a point there because it’s hard to argue with the fact “if that’s what Mitch feels, that’s what Mitch feels,” but I asked for the Kobester’s opinion.

“I don’t have one,” he said, growing very irritated, and maybe he was in a hurry to get back to the topless pool where he was spotted the last time he was in town, but if that was the case, I’d have driven him there.

“You’re telling me, the Lakers aren’t on your mind?”

“Write what you want to write, man,” he said, and I get permission like that, and I might start writing rumors like the one on the Internet recently that mentioned something about a divorce.

“You made your future with the Lakers an issue, and don’t you think you have left Lakers fans hanging?”

He rolled his eyes, and OK, so maybe neither one of us cares what Lakers fans think, but I’m surprised he’d admit it.

“I’m not making it an issue any more,” he said.

“Does that mean you will be at training camp?”

“I have no reason not to be,” he said, and now there’s news. “Your guy, [ESPN’s] Ric Bucher, says you will never play in a Lakers uniform again.”

“You know what, man, we’ll see what happens.”

BASED ON our last meeting, I thought we might carpool to Staples this year, or maybe catch a Beckham match together. But now he seemed so unhappy.

“Maybe I just don’t like seeing you here,” he said, while walking away so he might talk to some nice reporters.

“When’s the last time you practiced in a high school gym?” one reporter wanted to know.

“Kobe, talk about the sacrifice you guys are making to play for this team,” said another -- after someone else asked what he wanted for his birthday next week.

I hated to interrupt, but when he mentioned he liked playing with Jason Kidd and LeBron James, I asked if he wanted to play with Jermaine O’Neal.

“Oh man, this guy right here is something special,” the Kobester told the other reporters while walking away again, and I don’t think he meant special like I mean special.

I’ve had experience dealing with Mike Garrett, though, so I can hang pretty good with someone who likes to walk away when they can’t be bothered, so just in case it was the name “O’Neal” that had turned him sour, I gave him the Jermaine question one more time.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen [with O’Neal],” he said. “I don’t know. I hear what’s going on, but I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see.”

I could see the mistake I was making; I wasn’t asking the right question the way Jimmy Kimmel did last week, the Kobester coming clean and admitting he liked Harry Potter and vacuuming.

“You’re the only one who is asking about the Lakers,” the Kobester said. “Let it go.”

“I don’t understand why you just don’t clear the air -- especially after the mixed messages you sent earlier.”

“Mitch and them know what’s going on,” the Kobester said. “Go knock down his door. He knows what’s going on.”

“I take it our love affair is already over.”

“Love affair?” the Kobester huffed.

By this time most of the USA basketball players had left the gym, the Kobester left behind because he had to take his drug test.

I wished him good luck, and really meant it. No reason to make this story any more complicated than it already is.

--

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.