Matchups serve a twist

Early front-runner for 2007 NFL comeback player of the year: The NFL regular season.

Maybe it was because of post-Tagliabue malaise, or the Madden Curse crossing wires with the Chunky Soup Curse, or a bad case of T.O. OD, or the football gods voicing their displeasure over the off-field antics of the Cincinnati Bengals and San Diego Chargers.

But if ever a season cried out for a do-over, it was 2006.

The best team in the AFC is 14-2, yet no one would be surprised if the Chargers go one and out in the playoffs, because that’s what Marty Schottenheimer does.

The best team in the NFC is 13-3, yet no one would be surprised to see the Chicago Bears go one and done, either, because they did that last year and, well, we’ve seen Rex Grossman.

The Seattle Seahawks clinched the NFC West by losing three December games in a row.

The New York Giants clinched a playoff spot by going 2-6 in the second half.

The Indianapolis Colts have a defense that in Week 16 (read rest of sentence very slowly) surrendered ... 153 ... yards ... rushing

And next week the Colts face Kansas City and Larry Johnson.

And the week after that the Colts, very likely, face a lot of down time.

Of the 12 teams that were less mediocre than the 20 sadder cases sitting out January, the Colts might have taken the worst hit in Week 17 when the San Francisco 49ers upset the Denver Broncos, 26-23, in overtime.

Had the Broncos done simply what they had to do -- beat San Francisco (6-9 going in), at home, with a playoff berth on the line -- these would have been the AFC wild-card matchups: No. 6 New York Jets at No. 3 Indianapolis. No. 5 Denver at No. 4 New England.

But when the Broncos flopped at home, the Jets moved up to No. 5 and Kansas City claimed No. 6 when the Chiefs defeated Jacksonville,

35-30, on three touchdowns by Johnson.

Thus, Indianapolis traded a home game against the most non-descript team in the playoffs -- the Jets’ lone Pro Bowl selection is kick returner Justin Miller -- for one against a Kansas City team with the league’s second-leading rusher.

Johnson also set the NFL record for most carries in a season with 416. Whether this is a good thing for Johnson and the Chiefs remains to be seen.

Atlanta’s Jamal Anderson held the previous record of 410 carries, set in 1998. It took a heavy toll. In 1999, Anderson played in two games. In 2001, he made three appearances. By 2002, he was out of the league.

The Broncos weren’t alone in losing can’t-lose games Sunday.

The Bengals had to win at home to keep their wild-card hopes alive. They were playing the Pittsburgh Steelers. On Sept. 28, the Bengals won at Pittsburgh, 28-20.

In the rematch, the Steelers had little incentive beyond maybe sending out Coach Bill Cowher with a victory -- Cowher won’t confirm or deny rumors that he’s about to retire -- and bringing the Bengals to justice, so to speak.

But the Steelers went into Paul Brown Stadium, clamped down on the Bengals’ rushing attack and tied the score on a Jeff Reed field goal with little more than a minute to play.

Cincinnati still had a chance to win it, but Shayne Graham’s 39-yard field-goal try with eight seconds left sailed wide right.

The Bengals barely had time to straighten up from that stomach punch before Ben Roethlisberger and Santonio Holmes hooked up for a 67-yard scoring pass to give Pittsburgh a 23-17 overtime victory.

A seeming wild-card lock at 8-5 three weeks ago, Cincinnati closed out 0-3 with losses against Indianapolis, Denver and Pittsburgh.

Moral of the story: The Bengals fought the law ... and the law won.

The Giants’ Saturday victory over Washington ended much of the suspense in the NFC, but Dallas began its final home game with a chance to still win the NFC East title and earn a first-round home game. The Cowboys needed some help -- i.e., an Atlanta triumph over Philadelphia -- and then had to help themselves to a four-quarter feast against the Detroit Lions.

Some have called the Lions the worst NFL road team in recent memory.

Everybody else calls them the worst NFL team playing anywhere.

Plus, the Lions had motivation to lose: The No. 1 draft pick was on the line.

Surely, Dallas would roll up the points against hapless Detroit. And the Cowboys did -- they scored 31.

They wound up losing by eight.

Yes, Detroit, a team that scored 17 or fewer points seven times this season, scored 39 in Dallas -- or more than any Lions squad had managed in a game since Week 1 of the 2003 season.

The winning touchdown was scored by Mike Williams, who earlier this season slipped below backup quarterback Josh McCown on the Lions’ receiver depth chart.

Jon Kitna passed for 306 yards and four touchdowns. In so doing, he set the Lions’ single-season record for most pass completions and became the second Detroit quarterback to pass for 4,000 yards in a season.

The first? Scott Mitchell.

Coach Bill Parcells called the defeat the “low point for me in a long time,” which is saying a lot for someone who has been sentenced to coach Terrell Owens.

The defeat dropped Dallas to the NFC No. 5 seeding and sent the Cowboys to Seattle for a first-round game. Seattle is the defending NFC champion, which sounds like a tough penalty for Dallas, but remember: All credentials and labels mean nothing this season.

The Seahawks made very little sense in 2006. They lost Shaun Alexander to injury, and then Matt Hasselbeck got hurt, and they still managed to patch together an 8-4 record by the end of November. In December, with Alexander and Hasselbeck back, Seattle lost three consecutive games -- and still clinched the division championship, the NFC West being the NFC West.

Finally, the Seahawks found someone they could beat in Tampa Bay, ending their regular season with a 23-7 victory.

That means that Saturday’s NFC wild-card game will pair two teams that were 1-3 in their last four games.

Playoff football -- catch the fever!

It’s funny now, looking back on preseason predictions made four months ago -- or was it four years?

Remember when the trendy choices to meet in the Super Bowl were (please hold your laughter until the end) Miami and Carolina?

Final combined record for Miami and Carolina: 14-18.

What happened to the Dolphins: They began the season with a lemon at quarterback (Daunte Culpepper, damaged goods) and ended it the same way (Cleo Lemon, who made his first NFL start in Sunday’s 27-22 loss to Indianapolis).

What happened to the Panthers: First, Steve Smith got injured, leaving Jake Delhomme without a big-play option. Then Smith came back and Delhomme got injured, leaving Carolina with no other option than to start Chris Weinke three times in December. The Panthers were 1-2 and home for the playoffs with those three games.

At least the Oakland Raiders didn’t let us down.

They were expected to be horrendous, and they were.

They began Week 17 tied with Detroit for the NFL’s worst record, but trailed the Lions for the right to the No. 1 draft pick on a tiebreaker.

The prize: Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn, whose college fame has earned him an offer to play the lead role in a planned remake of the George Gipp story.

When Dallas lost to Detroit, the Raiders were given unexpected new life.

Sure enough, they came through with a 23-3 loss to the Jets to earn the top pick at 2-14. They tanked one for the Gipper.

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mike.penner@latimes.com