There’s a catch for the big one

David Beckham is used to being a human billboard, but now the New England Revolution would like to make him a paid escort.

Well, not exactly. It’s for charity.

Fans can bid on EBay for the opportunity to walk onto the field hand-in-hand with the players in the starting lineups before the Galaxy’s Aug. 12 match against the Revolution in Foxborough, Mass.

Proceeds from the auctions will go to the New England Revolution Charitable Foundation.

So far, only one bid for Beckham at the $1,000 minimum. Minimum bids for other players: $250.

There’s a catch, ladies: Player escorts must be ages 5-14.

Trivia time

What sporting venue sometimes referred to as the Spa opened Wednesday for its six-week season?

Baring all

Every time we turn around, it seems some sports figure is posing out of uniform.

This time, it’s Serena Williams, posing nude in the August issue of Jane magazine. (She’s wearing heels, anyway.)

Williams went artsy and a bit modest, posing with her back to the camera to show off her powerful physique while covering part of her rear with a bouquet of flowers.

Other celebrities also posed for the shoot, which promotes Clothes Off Our Back, a non-profit organization that auctions celebrity-worn clothing to benefit children’s charities.

Also posing nude, for Playboy: Barry Bonds’ former mistress, Kimberly Bell, a key figure in the grand jury investigating allegations Bonds committed perjury when testifying about steroids. Bell is to appear in the November issue.

Family feud

Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling, doing a stint in the minors as he rehabilitates his shoulder, was interviewed on the HBO show “Costas Now” that aired Tuesday.

Schilling told host Bob Costas he would never play for the New York Yankees, even if Boston didn’t want him anymore.

“I think it would make me a phony,” Schilling said. “I absolutely love their organization, their commitment to winning, their owner’s commitment to winning. But I took the Hatfields. And you can’t ... switch families.”

Guess that makes him the real McCoy.

In the minors

Here’s our latest pick of promotions going on around the minor leagues, with a tip of the hat to MLB.com contributor Benjamin Hill for the scouting reports.

Political Correctness Night: The Lowell (Mass.) Spinners of the New York-Penn League sought to offend no one Tuesday. The first baseman was to be referred to as a first baseperson. The bases were not to be identified as first, second or third -- rankings can promote feelings of inferiority -- and everyone who took part in between-innings contests were to receive participation trophies.

One-Carat Diamond Giveaway: The Springfield (Texas) Cardinals of the Texas League said they would on Tuesday give the first 1,000 fans 21 and over cubic zirconias -- but that one fan would get a genuine one-carat diamond.

Phillip Wellman Returns: And finally, the Chattanooga (Tenn.) Lookouts of the Southern League got so much publicity when the Mississippi Braves manager wigged out during his post-ejection rant last month, they’re welcoming him back this week with open arms -- and a rosin bag giveaway.

Wellman’s tirade -- during which he crawled on his belly and hurled a rosin-bag grenade style -- has received more than 2 million hits on YouTube.

Trivia answer

Saratoga Race Course in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., is celebrating its 139th summer season. The area is known for its mineral springs.

And finally

Headline from TheOnion.com, a website that spoofs the news:

“Authorities Discover Illegal Frog-Jumping Ring in Eli Manning’s Backyard”

Officers were responding to complaints of “excessive hooting and hollering.”

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robyn.norwood@latimes.com