Ducks try to reach a golden pond

With two more victories, the Ducks will be the latest Southern California professional team to win a championship, joining the Lakers, Dodgers, Angels, Galaxy, and long-lost cousins, the Rams and Raiders, at the adults table. Meanwhile, the Clippers and Kings sit in the corner, choking down mashed potatoes and crushed dreams.

The honor list, from first to last:

Rams. It was Norm Van Brocklin to Tom Fears in 1951, not I-40 to I-44 then roll on into St. Louis.

Dodgers. The 1959 World Series introduced Sandy Koufax to the postseason, not $15 parking to the fans.

Lakers. Eighth time was a charm in 1972 because Jerry West didn’t force Wilt Chamberlain to be traded.

Raiders. Ah, the 1984 Super Bowl, when “just win baby” was in the team’s playbook, not in the fading memories of Raider Nation.

Galaxy. Seemed to get its kicks without David Beckham in 2002.

Angels. The shock from the 2002 World Series caused amnesia. Donnie Moore? Dave Henderson? Never heard of them.

Trivia time

What three Anaheim professional teams disappeared from Southern California without winning a title? (Major sports leagues only, people, so take a seat Arena Football).

And then there were two ...

The Kings recently sent a Stanley Cup finals update to season-ticket holders to (a) remind them how close the Ducks are to winning the Stanley Cup and (b) remind them that the Kings are still in town.

And the Clippers? Well, at least they don’t have those Kobe Bryant-related headaches -- or a championship parade -- messing up the off-season.

A mental mistake

Seattle Mariners outfielder Ichiro Suzuki was thinking outside the batter’s box when explaining to reporters why he misjudged a fly ball in the twilight Tuesday.

“The ball became the same color as the sky,” he said. “I was sending mental signals for the ball not to come my way, because during that time of day it’s impossible for me to see the ball so I lacked mental signals.”

Mariners pitchers helped him out Wednesday by making a few fly balls disappear against the Angels.

Will refs have to call him ‘sir’?

Sir and Beck’s are words linked only perhaps when asking a bartender for a beer. That may no longer be the case, as England’s the Guardian Unlimited reported David Beckham is being considered for knighthood.

“I’d love that, that would be quite fabulous.” Victoria Beckham, his wife and former Spice Girl said when the knighthood speculation arose last year. “It’s just so camp, it’s wonderful isn’t it?”

Lady Posh? Well, there goes that idea.

Royal pain

Beckham’s knighthood could hit a snag, England’s the Evening Standard reported, because he plans to move to the U.S. when he joins the Galaxy next month.

No problem, he can be so honored here in the U.S. The criteria are easier anyway. You don’t even have to win a championship to receive the title -- just ask “Sir” Charles Barkley.

Trivia answer

The Southern California Sun (World Football League), the Southern California Surf (North American Soccer League) and the Anaheim Amigos (American Basketball Assn.).

And finally

Jumpusa.com has announced the latest fad that is certain to sweep through the NBA: hemp basketball nets.

“Why Hemp Basketball Nets?” the company’s website asks. “They outlast normal basketball nets by 5 years.”

What are they smoking? A hemp net lasting five years in an NBA arena? Not a chance.

chris.foster@latimes.com