Our kid steps up in class for the benefit of the kids

The whole thing goes back to October with 261 baby horses being auctioned off at the Los Alamitos Race Course and the longshot idea of having quarter horse czar Ed Allred and Page 2 combine to pick a four-legged hopeful and then try to win as much as $50,000 for the benefit of Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA.

A baby was selected, his name changed from something that sounded like a beer to Kiddy Up, and then he was led off to eat and nap for a couple of months.

“There’s just no way to tell if the horse that we’ve picked will be able to run a lick when we get him to the races,” explained Allred, and now you know why his role is that of silent partner.

Kiddy Up is already 2-0, qualifying for the $1-million Ed Burke this Saturday night at Los Al with the chance to win $457,800 in first-place money.

It’s like I was telling Mr. Ed the other day, I said, “Allred, it just comes down to knowing horse flesh and knowing a winner when you see one. I was on top of Maria Sharapova, and the wife for that matter, before anyone else. It’s just a gift.”

Post positions for the first leg of Los Al’s triple crown were picked Wednesday, and Kiddy Up drew the No. 1 hole for the 350-yard race that will take less than 18 seconds to complete -- or as long as it takes Shaq to get from one end of the court to the other.

Ten horses will run for more than $1 million, sixth place paying $54,400, which means a check for $50,000 will be presented to Dr. Kathleen Sakamoto on behalf of the cancer pediatric ward at Mattel’s if Kiddy Up doesn’t crawl across the line.

Now how’s that for a longshot payoff?

IT WAS Allred’s job to pay 99% of the $160,000 purchase price for Kiddy Up, pay for all food, stall and vet bills, any additional fees to enter big races and then turn over the first $50,000 the horse wins to Mattel’s while remaining silent.

For the most part he did a good job, opening his mouth once to ask if he could join everyone else in the winner’s circle after Kiddy Up’s latest romp. No one likes to be interrupted while celebrating, but on a positive note, the family voted almost unanimously to let him in.

You know how kids are, though, and they don’t always take things as seriously as they should. And with Mr. Ed not allowed to say anything these days, I thought it best to stop by Los Al and have a little chat with Kiddy Up.

He was eating, which means he was doing a lot more than his trainers, John and Joe Bassett. I had called John earlier, and he said he was doing great, and I really didn’t care how he was doing. “How about our horse?”

“I’m in Reno on vacation,” John said, and imagine placing a call to Bill Parcells four days before the Super Bowl only to find him holding on 14 and hoping the dealer might bust.

John had left Kiddy Up in the care of his son, Joe, who will be getting married on Aug. 5, which means Joe cares about only one thing these days -- his bachelor party.

“Right now the horse is doing everything on his own,” Joe said, and of course he is with the old man slumped over a craps table in Reno and the kid wondering what he was thinking when he made a date for Aug. 5.

The folks at the track tell me the Bassetts really know what they’re doing, each one of them winning the $2-million final leg of the Los Al triple crown over the last two years, but just the same I’ll be there in the paddock to provide final instructions to the jockey.

“As long as I don’t fall off the horse, everything will work out,” said jockey Saul Ramirez when we got to talking about some of the things I’d like to see him do during his 17-second ride. I know this, the granddaughter will be upset if he forgets to wave to her.

As for Kiddy Up, I’ve got to tell you, the kid’s got a good attitude. Maybe it’s the USC colors he wears, or the fact basketball Coach Tim Floyd just got a commitment from a kid not much older than Kiddy Up.

The horse and I chatted for a while about that, talked a little about breeding plans, you know, guy talk, and then when I mentioned that most experts have Carters Cartel winning the big race, he acted as if he had never heard of him.

“Don’t let him fool you,” the younger Bassett said. “This horse has got a great mind. He knows he’s got a big race coming, and if it comes down to the final 25 yards and he’s right there with another horse, he won’t lose.”

If it ends like that -- maybe in a photo finish with a nose deciding it all, I will remind you right now who owns that nose.

Sure, tell me you’d to like change places, but I would remind you in this day and age -- the way athletes carry on, it’s tough to find one who can keep their nose clean. And believe me, it’s no fun if they don’t.

EVERY ONCE in a while you’ll hear a story about an unexploded bomb being discovered. I have a similar nightmare, wondering what happened to all those vials of HGH that Gary Matthews allegedly ordered off the Internet.

I worry about some kid digging in his sandbox only to find a vile of clear liquid, drinking it and then pinning his father to the ground.

SI.com reported a few months back that Matthews ordered a shipment of HGH in 2004, and while he said he never used it, everyone let him off the hook after that. He has never said whether he actually got the stuff, although I’m sure if he did, he poured it out so that he could use the vials as Christmas ornaments or cute little shot glasses for his buddies’ amusement.

But what happened if he never got it? Where is it? Is it out there somewhere to be found by some kids, or worse yet, maybe some bowlers?

For weeks I’ve been trying to get an answer from Mr. HGH, but he refused to talk again this week, hoping, I guess, everyone will just forget about the stuff -- children and bowlers everywhere be damned.

--

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read

previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.