The picks are in, and he is sure about who’s right

I’ve got some office pool tips from a Las Vegas bookmaker, and a chance for Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA to bag another $2,000, as long as the bookmaker has no idea what he’s talking about.

It’s time for the annual father/daughter March Madness trip to Las Vegas and Mandalay Bay to wager on the first 48 games of the tournament.

The purpose of the trip each year is to raise money for Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA and find a husband for Miss Radio Personality. Over the last five, everyone has gone home a loser.

In an effort, though, to make sure the pediatric cancer ward at the hospital gets something, I’ve once again challenged P.L. Walker, the guy who sets all the betting lines for the MGM, Mirage, Mandalay Bay and a number of other race and sports books, to a handicapping contest. Some folks might call it robbery.

Walker, also known as “Robert” to some folks, but better known here as “Proven Loser,” has agreed to take on Page 2, filling out a bracket with the loser donating $500 to the kids.

Last year, he had Marquette beating UCLA in Round 2, which would have been the biggest win of the tournament since Marquette had already gone home. So a foul was called, a little known rule invoked, and although it appeared he beat Page 2, both competitors wrote $500 checks to the hospital.

This year, on behalf of the kids, Dr. Kathleen Sakamoto and Dr. Noah Federman, who know nothing about sports, I mean absolutely nothing, zilch, have also filled out a bracket. Should the kids finish with a better record than the bookmaker and Page 2, each of the losers will donate $1,000 to the hospital.

We begin with some insight from the bookmaker.

He said the public won’t start putting money down until later, so right now it’s the professional gamblers who are betting and offering insight on upset possibilities.

“Duke would normally draw all the money,” Walker said by way of example. “But all the professional money is coming in on [Virginia Commonwealth], which explains why Duke opened as an eight-point favorite, but now stands at 7.

“The professional is also betting Long Beach State, Davidson and Oral Roberts versus Washington State. The Cougars are getting no respect. Most of the money is also coming in on USC, which is favored by two.”

If you want to take your bracket to Las Vegas and bet, wager on the underdogs and take the points, the bookmaker suggested.

If you want to stay in the office working and watching TV, keep in mind Florida is the favorite to win it all at 3-1, North Carolina next at 7-2, Ohio State 6-1, Kansas 7-1 and UCLA, which stood at 9-2 a week ago, is now 8-1. USC is 75-1, and the biggest move has been made by Oregon, down from 40-1 to 25-1 after winning the Pacific 10 tournament.

You want sleepers? The bookmaker likes Long Beach State straight up in Round 1 and Winthrop over Notre Dame. He likes Texas A&M; and UCLA to go the distance. Keep in mind he had Gonzaga beating UCLA last year.

OK, BEGINNING in the Midwest, the bookmaker and Page 2 like Arizona, disagreeing with the kids -- the doctors already putting the kids behind.

The bookmaker likes Winthrop, and wait until he learns he doesn’t get the four points. He also likes Nevada Las Vegas because what city does he do business in? Take Georgia Tech.

Page 2 is the lone ranger taking Old Dominion and Georgia Tech to make it to the Sweet 16, while the kids and the bookmaker play it safe with Maryland and Wisconsin. Everyone has Florida advancing to the Final Four.

*Note to Dr. Ed McCabe, the big boss at the children’s hospital: You might consider hiring doctors in the future who know something about basketball.

IN THE West, it’s Page 2 against the bookmaker and the kids, taking Villanova over Kentucky. Who are you going to go with? The bookmaker or Page 2? Everyone agreed on the rest of the first round, including 10th-seeded Gonzaga.

The bookmaker and the kids like Duke to advance through two rounds, while Page 2 goes with Pittsburgh and predicts Pitt will knock off UCLA in the Sweet 16. The bookmaker and the kids have UCLA going to the Final Four, while Page 2 favors Kansas. Who do you think knows more, Page 2 or the bookmaker?

In the East, the kids blew it again, and are alone with George Washington and Michigan State. Dr. McCabe really has a problem on his hands. Page 2 likes Bob Knight. Never wrote that sentence before.

Everyone likes North Carolina, Texas, Washington State and Georgetown to advance to the Sweet 16. The kids have Texas advancing to the Final Four, while the bookmaker and Page 2 like Georgetown. The kids just can’t get it right.

In the South, the pressure got to be too much for the bookmaker, who took Long Beach State. He also went with Nevada, because what state does he work in? The kids and Page 2, meanwhile, played it smart. They also ignored the bookmaker and took Xavier instead of BYU. This region appears to be the bookmaker’s downfall.

Everyone has the same four teams advancing to the Sweet 16 in Ohio State, Virginia (a shaky choice according to the bookmaker), Texas A&M; and Memphis. The kids have Ohio State going to the Final Four, while the bookmaker and Page 2 agree again and select Texas A&M.;

The kids pick UCLA to win it all over Ohio State, or else the doctors would get mad at them. Page 2 takes Kansas to win it all.

A year ago the bookmaker didn’t think much of UCLA, and it cost him. This time he has them playing for the title, and since I can’t read my notes, I can’t say for sure whether he has the Bruins winning it all or losing to Texas A&M.;

I’ll let you know after the tournament is over and after we determine who wins the bet.

As for the daughter, I’m betting she remains untaken by the end of the weekend. Any takers?