A striking lack of punishment

Phoenix Suns center Amare Stoudemire may consider the San Antonio Spurs “dirty,” particularly Bruce Bowen, but the NBA ruled otherwise Monday.

Bowen was not disciplined for this week’s antics in the playoffs -- kicking Stoudemire in the back of the calf (a Spur and a calf? Very Texan) or for giving Steve Nash a little knee to the groin (again very Texan, but only if you’re wearing a black hat).

Bowen claimed innocence, explaining to reporters that Nash “was crowding me, and in this game you’re taught to get people off of you.... But with all the stuff that is going on with [me], I’m sure that will end up on YouTube.”

Of course, a quick check of YouTube.com produced clips titled, “Bruce Bowen Strikes Again,” “Bowen Undercuts Crawford,” “Bruce Bowen Kicks Ray Allen,” and “Bruce Bowen Injures Steve Francis.”

Also available for viewing, “Kobe Bryant vs. Bruce Bowen” and “Kobe vs. Bowen 2.” Unfortunately, the sequel has the same plot line as the original, plus we hear “Kobe vs. Bowen 3” is a complete sellout.

Wait, maybe that was “Spider-Man 3.”

Trivia time

How many times has Bowen been suspended by the NBA?

Going out on a limb

Bowen accusers seeking a smoking gun merely can call up YouTube and view his TNT segment on fundamentals. Explaining how he plays defense, Bowen said, “If I can have my hands active, using all my limbs to create some type of diversion ... “

Using all his limbs? That’s what the Suns, and others, are complaining about.

International Basketball Assn.?

Outsourcing in the U.S. seems to have reached a new level, with the Dallas Mavericks’ Dirk Nowitzki being named the NBA’s most valuable player.

Germany’s Nowitzki extends a trend that could cause Rush Limbaugh to froth at the mouth.

Nowitzki follows Canada’s Steve Nash, who won the MVP award the last two seasons. Kevin Garnett was the last U.S.-born-and-raised player to win the award, in 2003-04.

The good news? Well, for Lakers fans, congratulations, Kobe Bryant is the 2006-07 USA MVP (he finished third in the voting behind Nowitzki and Nash).

Blue Jays way

Tonight the Toronto Blue Jays, beaten down by injuries, will attempt to get fans more involved with a “Jays Anatomy Night,” on which fans donating first-aid supplies will receive a Blue Jays cap.

Although the supplies will go to the Red Cross, the promotion could catch on.

Instead of cash, fans can bring the team what it really needs -- bats, balls, chewing tobacco or, in the Jays’ case, a pitcher who can hold a lead.

The naked truth

Mark Roberts, the self-anointed “world’s most famous streaker,” was banned last week from entering soccer stadiums in Britain and must surrender his passport and register with police whenever British teams play in Europe.

Roberts, who appeared au naturel at Super Bowl XXXVII, said the ban was “a case of sour grapes” by the police.

Then again, maybe the ban is a matter of good taste, as those who have witnessed his act might attest.

Trivia answer

Fined, yes, suspended, nope.

And finally

The Phoenix Suns’ Raja Bell, commenting on Robert Horry’s forearm check to Steve Nash after Monday’s game, “It was a tough foul. It was a hockey foul.”

Sorry Raja, a forearm to the face is perfectly legal in hockey, as well as in loan sharking.

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chris.foster@latimes.com