THE GLUTTON

The Glutton still recalls the days when Heath bars seemed the pinnacle of confectionary sophistication. Then came upscale upstarts like Dove and Symphony, rich with the promise of dark chocolate and hefty almond chunks. And it’s been all uphill from there.

Nowadays, Godiva stores are common in shopping malls, Target has a premium chocolate line in Choxie and even chocolatier Scharffen Berger sold itself out to Hershey in 2005 -- not that the Glutton minds a little corporate synergy bringing high-caliber chocolate to her local 7-Eleven.

But as with market saturation in handbags and perfumes, luxury chocolate has lost some of its shine. These days rarefied confectioneries vie with each other with ever more bizarre ingredients. Forget toffee, almonds and dried fruit. Start thinking meats, teas and savory spices.

In terms of sheer repulsiveness, the Glutton thought nothing could top Dolfin’s dark chocolate with pink peppercorns bar. Then we tried/managed to choke down some of a Vosges bacon bar. Bacon is a wonderful thing, but much like the Force or redistricting, it can be used for evil. If you manage to suppress your gag reflex, then you -- like two of the Glutton’s colleagues -- might find yourself experiencing mild nausea. (Full disclosure: One was the Enabler, who may have been hung over.)

The quotidian candy bar has never looked so good.

-- theguide@latimes.com