Let’s all just take a deep breath

Deja Kobe, all over again.

Lakers practice the day before the opener, two days after Phil Jackson said Kobe Bryant hadn’t been throwing his “heart and soul” into it.

Not that we haven’t seen Bryant in worse spots.

He is what he always is at these moments, engaging as well as poised. He has T.J. Simers in his chest, firing questions that Kobe insists he won’t answer, after which T.J. fires off more, which Kobe answers without a hint of impatience, patting Simers in the stomach to show he understands.

And it hits you again. This is the game’s greatest player, who’s perfectly nice when he isn’t copping an attitude, and a stand-up guy to boot, even if his version can be pretty divorced from reality.

Superstars have their own reality. We had eight seasons in Los Angeles of Shaquille O’Neal rumbling, “I always make my free throws when it counts.”

He just didn’t count the way everyone else did. If he made one, that was when it counted. O’Neal, the down-to-earth, fun-to-be-around one, would go weeks without talking, charm everyone in the group media sessions at the Finals and make the all-interview team.

Bryant always talked, no matter how bad things got, and was usually engaging and always fascinating.

So how does he keep getting himself into these things?

Of course, this is his masterpiece.

He created this one out of thin air last spring, faced with nothing worse than what Allen Iverson and Kevin Garnett endured gracefully on also-ran teams for years.

Lakers fans who never stopped cheering while Bryant faced charges in Colorado booed him on opening night, surprising no one more than Kobe.

“I understand where they’re coming from, but they really don’t understand the whole situation,” he said. “I’ll just keep my mouth shut, as I should.”

Unfortunately -- for Bryant -- what he means is the media, or the Lakers, or perhaps a joint media-Lakers operation, made him the bad guy.

Not that he isn’t tough enough to persevere as brilliantly as he did in the opener with his wrist hurting and his stroke so rusty that he missed nine free throws.

It’s just that Bryant thinks this is just one more thing someone did to him, as opposed to something he did.

That’s how he keeps getting himself into these things.

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This just in! Chicago-Sacramento-Lakers deal won’t happen!

ESPN, now also known as the Entertainment Sports Pelinka Network, is now running breathless reports of the latest proposals, no matter how far-fetched and short-lived.

Presumably briefed by Bryant’s agent, Rob Pelinka, they became breaking stories as ESPN’s experts hyperventilated like the radio actor succumbing to poison gas from the Martian spacecraft attacking New York (“Isn’t there anyone on the air? Isn’t there anyone on the air? Isn’t there . . . anyone?”)

Skip Bayless conducted a withering cross-examination of Rick Carlisle, who didn’t think the Bulls should break up their team. Narrating highlights of the Bulls’ opening loss in New Jersey, Stephen A. Smith, one of Bryant’s foremost allies, sneered, “Don’t rip up your team for Kobe.”

The next day, Bulls General Manager John Paxson said no deal was possible.

Now that we’re between rumors, the real question for the Lakers is: Hello? Is anyone home?

The most important decision they’ll ever make looks like something they’ve just drifted into, with events controlling them instead of the other way around.

Lakers officials insisted Jerry Buss’ comments in Hawaii didn’t change their position: They weren’t trading Bryant unless they got a killer offer.

On the contrary, the resignation Buss expressed and all the telephone traffic suggests he is being stampeded into taking the first half-decent offer.

Who cares if Luol Deng is in the deal or not? If that’s the best they can do, they’d better figure out how to move the franchise into the Eastern Conference too.

If they’re not going to move Bryant now, some Laker should stand up and say so. If they haven’t noticed, everyone thinks there’s a fire sale going on.

Magic Johnson is now the closest thing they have to a spokesman in his job as TNT commentator. Buss did as much damage as he could in his only appearance. GM Mitch Kupchak is sworn to silence so as not to antagonize Bryant.

Taking emotion out of it, if trading Bryant is lose-lose and he can’t go anywhere for two seasons, why exactly are they in a hurry to move him?

Why trade him at all?

Even as a free agent in 2009, Bryant would need a sign-and-trade to go to a good team without taking a $15 million-a-year pay cut.

The Lakers could then balance the offers they get against the chance to drop $20 million under the cap, with LeBron James and Dwyane Wade due on the market in 2010.

In the meantime, Buss can do wonders for Bryant’s morale by bringing back Jerry West as a consultant while continuing to sell all his tickets.

Or Buss could turn things over to Jim and watch the place empty as the young Lakers with Deng, Tyrus Thomas, Andres Nocioni and Andrew Bynum try to make the playoffs.

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mark.heisler@latimes.com