It's a Barry good day for rhymes

It’s a Barry good day for rhymes

By Pete Thomas

Sept. 28, 2007 12 AM PT

Times Staff Writer

The San Francisco Chronicle, commemorating the departure of Giants slugger Barry Bonds, is holding an online limerick contest through today.

Many are lame and a lot are the same

but here’s one that might win the game:

“There was a sweet boy name of Barry.

He was pure as a fresh red cherry.

He discovered the Clear,

Said, ‘Oh what have we here?’

And forever to an asterisk he would marry.”

More about Barry. . .

“There once was a guy named Barry

With the brain power of a canary.

Took them steroids in bulk

to look like the Hulk,

Grew a head almost too big to carry”

Trivia time

In the 15 seasons since Bonds left Pittsburgh, how many times have the Pirates finished with a losing record?

Already mourning

So, what will Bonds’ absence mean for Giants fans? The Chronicle’s Scott Ostler predicted:

“Yes, there will be life after Barry, though, Lord knows, it will be bleak and dismal, with raw, cruel winds blowing tumbleweeds across the outfield and into the deserted grandstands, while Lou Seal swims desultory laps across McCovey Cove.”

Ultimate rivalry

Florida State versus Alabama. Good versus evil. Heaven against hell.

That’s the way Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel described Saturday’s college football matchup, citing “St. Bobby” Bowden going against Nick “Satan” Saban.

“Personally, I don’t believe Little Nicky is a disciple of the devil,” Bianchi wrote. “But he is a disciple of Bill Belichick. And isn’t that almost as bad?”

If you build it. . .

Six Flags Over Texas, in an effort to combat sagging attendance, will build a Tony Hawk Big Spin roller coaster.

That will make three Six Flags theme parks to team with the legendary skateboarder, who has mass appeal and a Midas touch.

What’s unique about this family friendly ride is that its cars spin while zooming over a track winding through a skate-park setting.

Similar rides in St. Louis and Fiesta, Texas, have lured surprisingly large crowds.

Aw, shucks

David Thomas of the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram urges fans to book trips to Glendale, Ariz., now to beat the rush for the Feb. 3 Super Bowl between “the Cowboys and yet-to-be-determined AFC representative.”

The columnist cautioned, however, that “Should you wind up staying in the city of Phoenix -- and this is extremely important for Cowboys fans to know -- it is illegal to walk through a hotel lobby wearing spurs.”

He might as well have predicted rain.

In a Zamboni maybe

Syndicated columnist Norman Chad wrote on the absurdity of the Ducks and Kings flying 5,500 miles to London for an NHL game, prompting this response from Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

“In defense of the NHL here, it will take less time for the Kings to fly from Los Angeles to London than it would take to drive from Los Angeles to Anaheim.”

Trivia answer

Fifteen. In Bonds’ last season with the Pirates, 1992, they won 96 games and the NL East Division. Their best finish since was 79-83 in ’97.

And finally

Though it’s time to close,

Here’s one more of those

From a person whose prose

Hits it right on the nose:

“With the press he was always defiant

With managers he’s never compliant

But with talent and style

He hit baseballs a mile

In the end, he’s one hell of a giant”