He has answers

I just had an end-of-season survey e-mailed to me by the Kings’ marketing department containing the following laughable questions:

Q: What was your favorite Kings moment or experience this past season?

A: The skillful way the Kings won their last game, and lost out on the first pick overall in the 2008 entry draft in the process.

Q: What improvements would you like to see made to the Kings’ game-day experience?

A. Are you kidding?

Q: How would you rate on-ice contests (i.e. sumo ice hockey, human globe races and human bowling)?

A. The only “on-ice contest” true fans care about is sadly not included in this question.

Enough with the dancing ice girls, blimps, pyrotechnics and excuses. We just want a winner. However, if that can’t be arranged, the Philip Anschutz dunk tank might be a good secondary option.

Steve Keegan

Oak Park

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T.J. Simers was correct to criticize the Dodgers’ new autograph policy, but he is equally incorrect to state that Jerry Buss proves he is one of the best owners in sports and deserving of a fictitious MVP award simply by doing nothing while Kobe Bryant ranted last summer. After all, if doing nothing on behalf of your team is the criteria by which sports owners win acclaim, Philip Anschutz would already have the trophy permanently retired in his name.

Ian MacKinney

Los Angeles