Inmate failed to fashion a workable escape plan

Continuing our study of stupid criminal tricks, we bring you the tale of the inmate worker, or trusty, who turned out to be not so trusty.

The fellow fled the sheriff’s station in Pico Rivera but was caught soon afterward, reported the Star News, a Sheriff’s Department publication. Deputies found him in a nearby clothing store, having correctly figured that he wouldn’t be able to resist replacing his orange outfit. At least he has good fashion sense.

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Where is my pocket-size ATM?

When an inebriated passenger wouldn’t pay her taxi fare, the Goleta driver called the cops. She told an arriving officer “that she was going to pay the fare of $16.75 using her cellphone,” said the Daily Nexus, a UC Santa Barbara newspaper. “The suspect tried to complete the transaction several times, but despite her sincerest efforts, her mobile would not issue legal tender.”

She was deposited at a nearby jail.

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Department of Redundancy Dept.

In North Hollywood, Pete van Gilluwe chanced upon a sign describing a fairly common type of ice (see photo).

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Romeo, Romeo

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I couldn’t help but wonder whether the fellow who posted a sentimental sign on Sunset Boulevard a few years ago ever found the woman of his dreams (see photo).

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Do as he says, not. . . .

A worker named Doug who’s featured in a how-to display in Drive! Magazine apparently isn’t always that handy with a screwdriver, pointed out Dede Stokes (see accompanying).

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Open wide

In San Luis Obispo, Fred Hindler noticed the sign of a dentist who fits in well with the name of his business (see photo).

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Imagine how the cats felt

A book signing by a “dog whisperer” at a pet store occasioned some growls from humans, the Huntington Beach Wave reported. An employee phoned police “after customers complained that they were afraid to enter the store because large dogs and their owners were blocking the entrance.”

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MiscelLAny:

I saw an ad on television for some Los Angeles Kings “action figures.” Inasmuch as the Kings are considered the worst team in the National Hockey League, shouldn’t those be “inaction figures”?

It’s uncanny how an observation by Joe Friday in the 1987 movie “Dragnet” still rings true today. “Sure the city isn’t perfect,” Friday said of Los Angeles. “We need a smut-free life for all our citizens, cleaner streets, better schools and a good hockey team.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com