HIT AND MISS

Hit: At 6:30 a.m., in conditions so surly that many would rather just die of natural causes than play a round of golf, Craig Parry, the 42-year-old from Sunshine, Australia (no, really), became the first human to tee off in the 137th British Open. For that alone, he deserves merit. For hitting the fairway on scary No. 1, he deserves some sort of trinket or at least some fish and chips. “Bloody miserable,” he said.

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Miss: British punters, er, wagerers, sometimes refer to Phil Mickelson as “useless” in British Opens -- one top-10 finish in 15 tries -- and he set about earning that view some money on brutal No. 6 when he drove his second shot into the right rough. The malicious foliage apparently swallowed his ball, which he could not find within the five-minute search period even though he found two other balls of similar brand. Result: penalty of stroke and distance, triple-bogey seven. “Obviously when you shoot 79 you’re going to have to come back with something pretty cool to get back in it,” he said.