With a friend like this . . .

In Jose Canseco’s new book, he insinuates that Alex Rodriguez used steroids. But it can’t be true, a former Yankees teammate asserts.

Mike Borzello, now a Dodgers catching instructor, was Rodriguez’s closest confidant -- his virtual shadow -- for four years and says there’s no way Rodriguez could have kept such a secret.

As Borzello explained to the New York Post, “He is not that bright to be able to pull that off.”

Finally, a solid alibi.

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Trivia time

When was the last year teams were allowed to play home games during the NCAA basketball tournament?

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Barry who?

Things just won’t be the same for the San Francisco Giants and their fans this season, now that all banners, murals and photos of Barry Bonds have been removed.

Writes the Chronicle’s Scott Ostler: “Bonds has been erased. Even the grass he killed in left field has grown back.”

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Sink-ronized swimming

It’s a sad week for sports fans in the South. The University of Alabama Birmingham has decided to drop synchronized swimming as a varsity sport.

As far as the rest of the nation is concerned, well, how many sports fans even knew synchronized swimming was a college sport to begin with?

The impending loss of the Blazers will leave only Stanford, Ohio State and Canisius College as Division I schools carrying the sport. It might be best that they all go under together, in keeping with the theme.

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Cubs get no relief

Now that billionaire Sam Zell has taken over Tribune Co., Jay Mariotti is concerned about the Tribune-owned Chicago Cubs.

The business-minded Zell will declare, the columnist predicts, “Who needs relief pitchers? Let the starting pitcher finish every game.”

What difference that would make for the Cubs remains debatable.

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Coincidence?

Tiger Woods said this week on ESPN that his friend John Smoltz “plays more golf than I do, and he’s a professional baseball player.”

Perhaps that helps explain why the Atlanta Braves pitcher, who has an ailing shoulder, is expected to start the season on the 15-day disabled list.

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Not so fast

NASCAR star Jimmie Johnson doesn’t like to boast, but he tells Men’s Journal, “I’ve actually never had a speeding ticket. Not one.”

His secret: “I set the cruise control to nine miles per hour over the speed limit, and I don’t get noticed by the cops.”

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Hair-brained idea

The NFL, clearly taking aim at the Steelers’ Troy Polamalu, is considering passing a rule against players having hair that flows from helmets, obscuring names on jerseys.

Bob Young of the Arizona Republic believes it’s a stupid rule: “Do you even need to see Polamalu’s name? You see the hair, you know it’s him.”

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Trivia answer

In 1987, when Syracuse and Arizona opened the tournament on their home courts. Syracuse went on to make the tournament final but lost to Indiana, 74-73. Arizona lost in the first round to Texas El Paso.

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Add trivia

It was stated in Friday’s trivia answer that the UCLA men’s basketball team lost only to Oregon during its NCAA title run in 1995. The Bruins also lost to California, 100-93, but the Bears later forfeited the victory for using an ineligible player.

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And finally

Miami Heat Coach Pat Riley to the Miami Herald, regarding the feud with ex-Heat center Shaquille O’Neal: “We’re all quiet on the Southern Front. We sutured up the stab wounds in the back, so everybody is waiting for another round to start.”

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pete.thomas@latimes.com