TWO-MINUTE DRILL

at Buffalo 23, San Diego 14: After this loss, it’s possible Britain might not let the Chargers into the country since they can’t prove they are a real NFL team.

Pittsburgh 38, at Cincinnati 10: A hopeful Carson Palmer has his eye on a potential Freedom Bowl berth for the Bengals.

at Chicago 48, Minnesota 41: It supposedly happens sometimes in baseball, but is it possible for the ball to be juiced in the NFL too?

at Washington 14, Cleveland 11: Then again, it is quite possible that we are being entirely too hasty with that juiced-ball theory.

Tennessee 34, at Kansas City 10: The Chiefs’ run defense is so bad, Miley Cyrus ran for 82 yards against it in a charity game.

at Carolina 30, New Orleans 7: Saints are just now beginning to learn why Giants weren’t all that upset to trade Jeremy Shockey.

at N.Y. Giants 29, San Francisco 17: Team owners ought to go ahead and officially change team name from “49ers” to “woeful 49ers.”

Baltimore 27, at Miami 13: Dolphins look at Cam Cameron the way co-workers look at an employee who just won the million-dollar lottery.

at St. Louis 34, Dallas 14: Wasn’t St. Louis beating Dallas one of the signs of the apocalypse mentioned by Bill Murray in “Ghostbusters”?

at Houston 28, Detroit 21: Or, as they are more popularly referred to as throughout Michigan: still-winless Detroit.

at Green Bay 34, Indianapolis 14: Peyton Manning can’t even get a ticket to “Saturday Night Live” this season, let alone host it.

at Oakland 16, N.Y. Jets 13 (OT): A confused Brett Favre says that if game had been played on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, result would’ve been different.

at Tampa Bay 20, Seattle 10: It appears to guarantee a winning season if you sign Jeff Garcia but not let him start until the season is a few games old.

Bye: Arizona, Atlanta, Jacksonville, Philadelphia.

Houston Mitchell

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QUOTE, UNQUOTE

‘We just need to play better. I need to play better and find a way to get into the end zone. Our offense needs to try to get the lead to help our defense out a little bit. We didn’t do our job.’

Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts