The Lakers remain a drag, costing fans free tacos, but for diversion there's still Phil's future, Roger Rabbit, Kobe, Tupac, Colin Cowherd and Damir Doma. And Plaschke wrong again.
But first we begin with Phil's steady girlfriend, Jeanie Buss, who said recently, "I know Phil will be coaching next year, somewhere, whether it's here or someplace else."
Tuesday night, Phil eliminated the Bulls, saying he had no interest in returning to Chicago although he considers it a good job.
Then he went further, well, sort of.
Do you envision yourself coaching elsewhere next year, he was asked, and he said, "I really couldn't."
So you'll either be here next season or nowhere (as far as coaching goes)?
"Probably," said Jackson. "I'd say 90% if I'm coaching, it will be here."
Everyone laughed. But everyone was also probably thinking, "Huh? What about the other 10%?"
"That's enough," Jackson said before anyone could ask.
This came after a question about Andrew Bynum's future with the team and whether his injuries have shaken Jackson's long-range view of him.
"I don't have much of a long range left in me," said Jackson.
So, I said, you are announcing today this is it for you? Is that what you are doing?
"No, I'm not," Jackson said. "The playoffs are the playoffs, and what happens after this is just gravy."
So you won't be here with Andrew next year?
"I have no idea," said Jackson, in the final year of his contract that gives him $12 million. "I don't."
KOBE WILL be here, of course, next season beginning around Halloween, and Kobe already in costume.
He was on the cover of the Los Angeles Times Magazine on Sunday, and while looking like someone who might be hauled off by men in white coats, they'd fit right into this photo gallery.
By the way, that's a $570 Rick Owens jersey V-neck T-shirt, and just like yours at home, a $695 Damir Doma hooded scarf with braids.
Unless it was just the photographer and Kobe together, no mirrors available, I just can't imagine everyone in the room not busting a gut when they draped that shawl over his head.
In the words of Charles Barkley as they were showing the pictures on TNT, "I don't know what that is."
Doesn't Kobe have any friends or advisors? How about a wife? I've got one who would never let me forget such an ego overload gone freakishly bad the rest of my life.
He looks like "a combination of Tupac and Liberace," said TNT's Kenny Smith, and while that's funny, it's even more hilarious knowing Kobe's people, according to TNT, called earlier asking that TNT make no mention of the pictures.
Everyone wanted to "be like Mike," years ago, but check out all the pictures on the Times' website and tell me you want to be like Kobe.
As Kevin McDermott wrote in an e-mail: "If I was Jerry Sloan, I'd put it up in the locker room: 'This is the guy you can't defend?'"
What does Jackson think of the pictures?
"You remember that movie, 'Where's Roger Rabbit' or something? Remember that villain in there? The image just stuck with me in that light."
The villain in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" was dressed all in black, Kobe all in white, and yet I'm 90% with Phil here on what he's trying to say, I think.
NO ONE utters nonsense better than ESPN radio's Colin Cowherd these days, so clever, brilliant and entertaining you almost forget he's clueless.
Imagine him and Plaschke together!
Plaschke and I almost never agree because he's always wrong. He's very talented, of course, because it's almost impossible to always be wrong unless you're really good at it.
Cowherd was making the case the Lakers should trade Bynum, turning to Plaschke, who agreed. Abbott turning to Costello.
"From the minute they signed Bynum it was a terrible signing to give him a long-term deal because they don't know" about his knees, Plaschke said. "I just don't think physically he's built for this league long term. It was a bad signing."
I loved the move from the start, the Thunder recently losing because they lacked an effective big man, Utah going down for the same reason.
Bynum is 22, and while point guards are the rage now, it's still a game dedicated to length and height.
Orlando let Shaq go in the middle of a four-year stretch in which he was averaging 52 games a season. How did that work out?
Maybe Bynum's body lets him down too, but it's worth the gamble because that kind of coordinated size is the hardest thing to find in the NBA. By all means, keep him.
"You're so wrong," Plaschke is telling me, and I've got to tell you, now I have no doubt.
BOSTON GM Danny Ainge took a seat behind the Cleveland basket the other night, stood and later tossed a towel up to distract the Cavaliers' free-throw shooters.
So what about Mitch Kupchak?
"It's rare when I get out of my seat to do anything other than go to the men's room," he said.
A PHILADELPHIA paper was reporting the young man who ran on the field during a Phillies' game had called his dad to ask for permission. Now why would they go and Taser such a responsible young man?
Clicking on Green Links will take you to a third-party e-commerce site. These sites are not operated by the Los Angeles Times. The Times Editorial staff is not involved in any way with Green Links or with these third-party sites.