Chris Dufresne’s top 25 rankings

Think of these first rankings as a wet slab of concrete that won’t set until December. This is a template, a living organism, a sitcom script subject to constant rewrite. He who is last can be first; and he who is first can be Michigan. It’s a long way to Tipperary ... and to the end of the season. If your school is not listed here -- win some games. If your team is listed here, and wants to stay, win some games:

1. BOISE STATE -- It’s either a rendezvous with destiny or the end of “Thelma & Louise.”

2. OHIO STATE -- Rankman’s deal with Big Quilt Network prohibits all sweater-vest jokes.

3. NEBRASKA -- Scorsese film on team’s final year in Big 12 titled “The Last Husk.”

4. ALABAMA -- Other great No. 4s in history include Lou Gehrig, Brett Favre and Ringo.

5. TEXAS CHRISTIAN -- Ready to take crown should Miss Boise fail to uphold pageant duties.

6. FLORIDA -- Last year’s quarterback knew the playbook chapter and biblical verse.

7. VIRGINIA TECH -- Hoping Boise opener is not a Hard (Labor) Day’s Night.

8. TEXAS -- Man who coached Ricky Williams is now the Heisman hall monitor?

9. OREGON -- Blount will NOT throw out ceremonial first fist for Ducks’ opener.

10. IOWA -- Shockingly, Big Ten decides to divide Iowa into “Io” and “wa.”

11. MIAMI -- Schedule tougher than running comb through Jimmy Johnson’s hair.

12. OKLAHOMA -- Sooners fans had tough time working 9-to-5 after last year’s 8-to-5.

13. WISCONSIN -- Badgers looking to make Big Ten hay with Big John Clay.

14. GEORGIA TECH -- Rankman predicts first play of season will be a run.

15. FLORIDA STATE -- Bowden yelled “Jimbo,” not “Geronimo” when shoved into retirement.

16. OREGON STATE -- Recent incident prompts coach to remove “naked bootleg” from playbook.

17. ARKANSAS -- Lost all interest in program after Lou Holtz left.

18. AUBURN -- Tigers set to celebrate 108th football season not being Alabama.

19. STANFORD -- Has reclaimed Bay Area except for the beating Cal part.

20. USC -- Has a school ever won AP national title with a true freshman at athletic director?

21. PITTSBURGH -- Heinz recently revealed 57 reasons why Panthers will win Big East.

22. HOUSTON -- School is selling “Keenum for Heisman” soda pop by the Case.

23. UTAH -- Next year will join Pac-10 talent show: “So you think you can dance?”

24. NAVY -- This year’s victory over Notre Dame moved to Oct. 23 in New Jersey.

25. WASHINGTON -- Two years after 0-12, team moves from Davey’s Locker to Jake’s.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com