For Ellen DeGeneres, being a Very Famous Celebrity means doing whatever you want at the mall. If only Britney Spears would get the hang of it already …
Spears was the reluctant one during a recent trip to Westfield Fashion Square in Sherman Oaks, where DeGeneres tried to show her what it means to be famous: Park where you want, eat what you want, sleep where you want and take what you want. No need to pay, you're rich and famous!
Welcome to the world of spontaneous 100% discounts. Get with the program, Brit-Brit.
The pop diva's reactions — and those of the mall patrons — might be the best part of a video that aired Wednesday on DeGeneres' talk show. (OK, the best part is actually when Ellen jumps up from a Pottery Barn window display and goes full T-rex on a woman who's taking a picture. You have to watch pretty much the entire video to experience that one.)
After the singer's companion urged her to simply take a tiny backpack she'd cooed over at a kiosk, Spears said sheepishly, "I'm stealing." She said it as she was putting the strap of the backpack over her shoulder, of course.
"She's a celebrity. It's OK," the host told the kiosk cashier before turning to Brit and explaining, "You're not stealing, do you understand?" Because she's rich and famous. Duh.
DeGeneres also bestowed invaluable Hollywood advice to some parents whose tots were taking advantage of a mall play area.
"We like to start people early to understand what's important in life," the "Finding Dory" star said, deadpan. "And that is money and celebrity."
"Parents, I can't stress to you enough ...," she continued, "start putting them on diets. ... If you want to be taken care of by your children, start auditioning them now."
While mother-of-two Spears was OK running up the down escalator, even with those spike heels on, she seemed to have a bit of a problem when DeGeneres tried to talk a tweenish boy out of going to college and becoming a doctor and into becoming, well, a celebrity. You know, 'cause the money's better.
"Maybe you can do both," Spears told the kid, only to earn a smackdown from the host: "Don't tell him to do both!"
Because famous is wayyyyy better.
Follow Christie D'Zurilla on Twitter @theCDZ.