Coachella picks: Five acts for future classic rock dads

The demographic split at Coachella is clear: hard-rockin’ moms and dads spilling beer on their company polo shirts and reapplying sunscreen every 10 minutes, and ravey teenagers making out to sad-sack Drake singles.

But there is also a third, lately underserved festival population that is only slightly grey of beard and paunchy of belly, but that still checks Millennial on their generational passports and would totally take Ecstasy if you know a guy who knows a guy and if they don’t have to go to work early tomorrow. They are the future classic rock dads of Coachella, and while they don’t have the Black Keys this year, there is a handful of solid options for them out there in the desert this weekend. Some suggestions:

1. Desaparecidos

Come, kids, gather ‘round and let me tell you about a city called Omaha. In two-thousand-aught-two, many hard-drinking young men with pretty bangs took on a hated president by forming various punk bands. They won, and that’s why everyone in 2015 has a pool. Seriously though, Desaparecidos have a new album called “Payola” coming out on Epitaph in June, and that’s crazy enough to make you forget Conor Oberst is 35 and married now.

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2. Touche Amore
Fred Phelps (of Westboro Baptish Church fame) isn’t the most radical target for a punk band to lambast. But, whew, that “Good Riddance” T-shirt with his face over an upside-down cross was really something. You can still circle-pit if you fully funded your Roth IRA this year, right?

3. Bad Religion
Hard to believe, but three generations of Angeleno punks have now grown up with four-part harmonies about Boltzmann’s entropy formula. Bonus points: The Coachella population is an ideal test group for studying human evolution, and where it all went wrong. Professor Greg Graffin, bring a notebook.

4. Drive Like Jehu
Do you know how many hours we’ve spent coming up with emo-baking pitches for Donut Friend pastry puns? Mark Trombino, if you’re listening, have you ever considered … “Something To Write Scone About”?

5. Ride
Coachella always overestimates the audience for ‘90s English reunion bands (see: Stone Roses), but we’re pretty stoked on this one. Too bad Cat & Fiddle’s closing because you’d be hearing about this set for months there afterwards.

Any Future Dad picks we missed? Let @PopHiss and @AugustBrown know on Twitter.