A cure for Brad Pitt’s -- or anyone’s -- nose hair problem?
Editor’s Note: True beauty knows no boundaries, so we asked staffers Adam Tschorn and Chris Erskine to try out a new product aimed at removing pesky nose hair.
Nad’s Nose Wax for Men & Women, recently launched in Australia and available in the U.S. online, is designed to be used once a month, unlike hair trimmers, which often must be employed more frequently. That’s convenient. But waxing inside the nose? Ouch!
Luckily, the guys were intrepid. And they lived to talk about it:
Chris: I am struck by [developer] Sue Ismiel’s quote: “If Brad Pitt has a nose hair problem, who doesn’t?” Excessive nose hair doesn’t rank up there with unemployment or the debt crisis, but it’s certainly a close third, right?
Adam: In the realm of grooming, like the world of men’s fashion in general, it’s all about the details. That means having an errant nose hair is as great an offense as leaving the house without pants or wearing white after Labor Day. And, in colder climes, the longer, thicker nasal forestation that comes with advancing age brings with it the winter threat of the dreaded “snot-cicle.”
Chris: I kept imaging the scene in “40-Year-Old Virgin,” where Steve Carell’s character has his chest waxed and they nearly pull off a nipple. How much did the procedure hurt you?
a) Like a wildfire inside your nostril;
b) Plucking a hair but times 1,000;
c) I hardly noticed.
Adam: I’m not gonna lie. This hurt. It felt like fire ants were building a bonfire just inside the rim of each nostril. It did not, surprisingly enough, hurt in that eye-watering way the plucking of a single nose hair does. Maybe it’s because the switchboard of my natural pain center was overloaded with incoming calls. Total discomfort was five maybe 10 minutes tops.
Chris: As the Rapunzel of nose hair, I had a lot at stake here. I found it hugely effective, yet probably a little too painful for my taste. I swear it pulled a hair out of my brain. In my quest to achieve pure beauty, do I need to raise my threshold of pain?
Adam: I think you need to man-up. As men, we aren’t forced to endure the pain of childbirth, the torture of sports bras or the indignity of the bikini wax. (The discomfort of the latter, I’m told by my helpmeet, lasts for quite a bit longer than our two-nostril rip and roar). If you’d prefer, we can get some beads and braid it for you — the nose hair, I mean.
Chris: My brain throbbed for, like, an hour. You?
Adam: I couldn’t stop looking at my face in the mirror and wondering if anyone would notice.
Chris: When we tried it out, I went first. Did my anguished death wail disturb you? Does it haunt you to this day? A lot of warriors scream during the heat of battle. That’s the justification I’m using.
Adam: Hearing the noises that came out of you was the most fear-inducing part of the whole affair. I’d already tucked a plunger into each nostril and the wax had set, so I had no choice. That’s not a place anybody wants to be. If you’d started to gush blood I probably would have fainted. Of course it helped that your mustache protector made you look like a ‘20s-era villain who had just tied Polly Purebred to the train tracks.
Chris: Speaking of which, actor John Barrymore used to make himself cry onstage by plucking one nose hair. How many awards would he have won with this product?
Adam: At least an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony), three Pulitzer categories and the Red Badge of Courage.
Nad’s Nose Wax is the latest in a line of hair removal products developed by Australian grooming queen Sue Ismiel. The kit contains three applications, enough to cover three months of hair removal. It retails for $29.95 and is available online at www.nads.com/