“Stakeholder”

Stock up on garlic and crucifixes because not just anyone gets to be a “stakeholder” anymore. Writers who think everyone with a stake in something is a stakeholder are mistaken. Dictionaries say the word refers to someone who owns or “holds” money, property, or a debt — bookies,investors, property owners and legal custodians. Writers who thrust the word upon anyone who merely cares about their community or craves a piece of the action are mis-taken

A Lexis-Nexis search shows that U.S. newspapers absconded with the word 908 times in the last 90 days. A New York Times reporter wrote that one needs “emotional support and encouragement from a reliable stakeholder in one’s life.” In April, one of our editorialists claimed that Catholics are stakeholders in the church, thus confusing where thine kingdom comes in. Most egregious was the Washington Post, which staked out the wrong word 272 times in the last five years.

Politicians use the word to describe special interests who happen to be donors. Environmentalists say they are stakeholders in timber. City planners talk about homeless stakeholders. Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa says “every Angeleno is an equal stakeholder in our city’s future,” in which case we await our dividend checks.

Even capitalists refer to customers as stakeholders.

Back! Back, foul word.

— Brendan Buhler