Letters: Shoot-'em-up at schools?
Daniel Akst’s satirical look at heaven on Earth as imagined by the National Rifle Assn. leaves out one key issue: Five-year-olds can surely fire a gun and kill someone, but today’s handguns are much too bulky and heavy for anything approaching marksmanship.
This opens an entirely new market to gun manufacturers and retailers: Gats for tots, new product lines made for tiny hands accompanied by still more lines for adolescents. How about a few models for the Social Security set? How about guns with built-in laser pointers, made of lighter material that will enable fuzzy-visioned old-timers to sling lead like they were teenagers again?
Marvin J. Wolf
Mar Vista Heights
Both economic and educational opportunities abound with this brilliant idea to arm and train school children to shoot. Early gun inculcation might include gun shapes on mobiles above cribs as well as pretty gun designs on Mommy’s and Nanny’s aprons. More water pistols in cheery colors as well as backyard mini-target ranges will be in order.
School curricula can be revamped and still adhere to the No Child Left Behind law. Cross-curricular opportunities that include literature, history, decorative arts and physics, to name a few, will call for revised textbooks.
Vocational education courses will return to high schools. Some students will need after-school tutoring, possibly from war veterans, while others will try out for varsity tournament teams. Meanwhile, teachers can go to staff development meetings for raising students’ sharpshooter test scores.
In all, this could be a splendid solution to current fiscal and educational conundrums.
Akst forgot an important benefit to arming schoolchildren with guns.
The NRA will leap at his suggestion and, in collusion with the gun manufacturers, will design kiddie guns with magazines capable of holding at least 100 rounds so the little ones can be sure of eventually hitting the targets they are aiming for.
Thanks to Akst for making me laugh out loud, although I’m laughing with tears in my eyes.
Ann Sherman James
A cure for the common opinion
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