Michele Bachmann won’t run again; copy editors everywhere cheer

Michele Bachmann isn’t going to run for reelection. Plenty of folks are happy about that.

I’m one of them. But it’s not personal. It’s practical.

True, Minnesota’s Republican representative and one-time GOP presidential contender doesn’t get much love from the left. Heck, she doesn’t get much love from the middle either. And a quick glance at the comments on stories about her reveal a certain, shall we say, unkindness and lack of respect.

But pundits and others adore her because she’s always good for a gaffe.

Like this one, while campaigning for the Republican presidential nomination in South Carolina on Aug. 16, 2011: “Before we get started, let’s all say ‘Happy Birthday’ to Elvis Presley today.”

The problem? It wasn’t the King’s birthday; he died on Aug. 16, 1977.

Or this one (somehow, she seems to have a problem with celebrities), from an interview after she launched her presidential campaign in Waterloo, Iowa, where she grew up: “Well what I want them to know is just like me, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit that I have too.”

Except John Wayne the movie star was born in Winterset, Iowa; Waterloo was the city rapist and serial killer John Wayne Gacy, also known as the Killer Clown, called home.

Anyway, you get the picture. With those and other infamous verbal missteps (like when she suggested that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery), Bachmann is the gift that keeps on giving to those who write for a living.

So what’s my reason for wishing her a fond farewell? Well, my day job is editing copy at The Times, and if I had a nickel for every time someone has misspelled the name “Michele Bachmann,” I’d have almost enough to outbid Rupert Murdoch or the Koch brothers for this paper.

Basically, she’s the woman who has launched a thousand corrections.

Why, oh why, did her parents name her “Michele” with one “l”? And the double “n” in Bachmann? A proofreader’s nightmare.

Still, I doubt I’m totally out of the woods. As The Times story on her announcement Wednesday noted:

“My future is full, it is limitless, and my passions for America will remain,” she said….

During the rest of her term, Bachmann said, “I will continue to work 100-hour weeks, and I will continue to do everything that I can to advance our conservative constitutional principles….

“I want you to be assured that there is no future option or opportunity … that I won’t be giving serious consideration if it can help save and protect our great nation,” she added.

Great. Her “future is full.” And so is mine, then: full of misspelled “Michelle” and “Bachman” prose.

So, Michele, here’s a plea from a guy in the trenches of the “lamestream media”: I don’t suppose there’s any chance you’d also give “serious consideration” to changing your name?

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