How Andre Ethier -- <i>sigh</i> -- is one of hottest players ever


Oh, Andre, you are just so damn hot! Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love.

What, Andre Ethier doesn’t get your temperature rising? You’re looking at this all wrong. Like he’s just a good baseball player or something.

No, apparently the Dodgers’ outfielder is much more than that. He’s hot. Like supernova hot. Like melts-poor-defenseless-women-where-they-stand hot. If only they were all left-handed pitchers.


If you feel as if you’ve been left behind on this love train — sorry, should not mix song references in the same post — then you obviously haven’t stepped into the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory of late.

Currently on display there in Louisville, Ky., is a new exhibit it calls “Baseball Hotties: Studs We Love.”

Included are life-sized displays of six current major leaguers in its “Field of Dreamboats” — Curtis Granderson, Joey Votto, Derek Jeter, Josh Hamilton, A.J. Pierzynski and Ethier. Like those other guys are even in super-hunkster Ethier’s league.

Even better, if Ethier lights up your morning sky with burning love, you can vote him into the inaugural “Baseball Hotties Hall of Fame.” Yeah, they have things like this.

The competition for this heats up because somehow seven have already been selected — Lou Gehrig, Ted Williams, Jackie Robinson, Roberto Clemente, Jim Palmer, Jeter and someone who appears to be from the turn of the century with a handlebar mustache whose name I can’t make out.

(That last guy appears to be Mike “King” Kelly, who played only one year in the majors in 1889, though coincidentally it was for the Louisville Colonels.)

Ethier’s competition for those coveted final three spots in the inaugural Hall of Fame class is against 19 others, including Sandy Koufax. Time to get out the vote. And because I know you want to, you can vote online here. You are allowed write in candidates, but sorry ladies, I never quite made it to the majors.

Louisville Slugger claims these stud muffins were chosen from a poll taken at its museum. It’s possible they also did the polls for Mitt Romney.

Included in the current exhibit is a tribute to Morganna the Kissing Bandit and a “reproduction of the iconic 1970s Jockey advertisement that featured baseball great Jim Palmer.” And I’m telling you, airfare to Kentucky is very reasonable this time of year.


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