The Times’ college football rankings

November begins with five undefeated contending teams … and Houston. The Cougars are unbeaten but might as well be on probation in terms of title eligibility. USC moves up to No. 19 after Saturday’s triple-tantrum loss to Stanford. Lane Kiffin, who violated his own 24-hour rule for leaving a game behind by, oh, 127 hours, will cut a $10,000 fine check to the worthwhile charity: “Retired Pac 12 Officials’ Home and Game Clock Rehabilitation Center.” Big games this weekend that could affect next week’s rankings: Louisiana Tech at Fresno State, Rice at Texas El Paso, Eastern Michigan vs. Ball State and Baton Rouge at Tuscaloosa.

1; Alabama 8-0; Saban celebrated 60th birthday Oct. 31 by scaring kids off his porch. (1)

2; Louisiana State 8-0; Sorry Les, only “HAT” welcome where you’re headed is houndstooth. (2)

3; Stanford 8-0; Rankman reminds Luck to save his “Pick Six” plays for Santa Anita Park. (3)

4; Oklahoma State 8-0: Cowboys defense has created more turnovers this year than Pillsbury. (5)

5; Boise State 7-0; Word on street is school is about to hire a new schedule-strength coach. (4)

6; Oklahoma 7-1; After Texas Tech loss, it felt good to stretch out and pound somebody by 41 points. (8)

7; Oregon 7-1; Coach so bored with winning he decided to start a quarterback controversy. (7)

8; Arkansas 7-1; Only in BCS world could Hogs jump three spots after comeback win at Vanderbilt. (9)

9; Nebraska 7-1; Huskers moving through Big Ten schedule with a Rex Burkhead of steam. (13)

10; Virginia Tech 8-1; Check UPS tracking for fruitcake shipped to commemorate four-point win over Duke. (14)

11; Houston 8-0; At Alabama Birmingham on Saturday in BCS flyweight undercard to LSU-Alabama. (16)

12; South Carolina 7-1; Signs point toward another SEC title-game massacre versus West Division. (15)

13; Clemson 8-1; Defeat saves ACC awkwardness of champion losing title-game spot to Boise. (6)

14: Penn State (8-1); Famous ogre in Green Bay once said: “Ugly isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” (21)

15; Kansas State 7-1; Now called “Kansas Steak University” after being grilled by Oklahoma. (10)

16; Michigan State 6-2; Team from giant auto industry state never imagined being run over by Lincoln. (11)

17; Wisconsin 6-2; English comp professor tells class to go back and rewrite the last two endings. (12)

18; Arizona State 6-2; UCLA minion Max Headroom says 6-8 quarterback too tall to enter Rose Bowl tunnel. (19)

19; USC 6-2; Morley Safer says only Lane Kiffin could turn one second into a “60 Minutes” episode. (20)

20; Georgia Tech 7-2; Deli serving “ham on bye” sandwich between Clemson and Virginia Tech. (NR)

21; West Virginia 6-2; Players required to wear lawsuits and ties for remaining Big East games. (23)

22: Michigan 7-1; Wolverines have already matched last year’s win total under coach Poor Rodriguez. (22)

23; Georgia 6-2; If Boise played Georgia’s grueling schedule it would be hosting New Mexico State this week. (24)

24; Texas 5-2; Replay of 43-0 win over Kansas will be shown on Goose Egg Network. (25)

25; Auburn 6-3; Scraping Tigers out of top 25 tough as getting chewing gum off your shoe. (NR)

Dropped out: Texas A&M (17), Texas Tech (18).

Moved in: Georgia Tech, Auburn.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com

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