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Phoenix Suns offer money back if you don’t have ‘good times’

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In an effort to bolster ticket sales for the Phoenix Suns (7-9), the brain trust behind the team’s sales department has come up with a risky sales promotion for a game next week: “Good Times Guaranteed, or Your Money Back.”

You read that correctly.

If you buy a ticket for the Suns’ matchup Thursday against the Dallas Mavericks (7-9) at U.S. Airways Center, and you don’t have said “good times,” the organization will refund the purchase price of the ticket.

The offer doesn’t exactly define “good times.” So fans could apply for a rebate for a variety of reasons. Bad game, refund. Spilled beer, refund. Long lines at the restrooms, refund. We could go on.

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Like other companies that offer mail-in rebates, the team is probably banking on customers’ neglecting to fill out the rebate form and send it in before the Dec. 31 deadline.

Although the Lakers (7-8) might not be performing up to expectations this season, they certainly don’t lack the star power to sell tickets.

The same can not be said for the Suns lineup, which features regular starters Goran Dragic, Michael Beasley and Marcin Gortat. Not exactly the first names that come to mind when you think of NBA stars.

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The Lakers have averaged a 99.7% attendance rate so far this season, a level the team has steadily maintained since 2009, according to ESPN. The other team that plays in the Staples Center -- you know, the Clippers (9-6) -- has an average attendance this year of 100.1% of official capacity, down from 100.8% last season.

The Suns have an average attendance of 81.8%. That’s means there are almost 4,000 empty chairs for every home game this season. Ouch.

Only the Sacramento Kings (4-10) are worse in the Pacific Division -- and second to last in the NBA -- at 72.6%. The distinction of the lowest-attended games in the NBA goes to the Detroit Pistons (5-11) at 56.1%.

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Is this the most ridiculous ticket promotion you’ve seen? Share your favorites in the comments.

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