Sideline Chatter: Broncos’ Manning would consider coaching, but doesn’t want to take the hits as head coach

Head-coaching, it appears, is not in Peyton’s place.

“Quarterbacks coach I would do at Tennessee. Head coach, absolutely not,” the Broncos QB and Vols alum told the Dan Patrick Show. “For whatever reason, people in Tennessee like me right now, Dan. If I’m head coach, cut that in half right away. They’d be asking, ‘Why did you throw on fourth-and-one, and why did you punt? Why not go for it there?’ ”

Oh, the carnage

Judy Carne of 1960s “Laugh-In” fame died last week at 76, and one tribute was especially touching.

But enough about Texas’ “Sock It To Me” improv in a 38-3 loss to Notre Dame.

Stat of the Week

Utah State and Southern Utah, in their season-opening 12-9 snoozer, converted only 2 of 34 third-down attempts 6 percent.

Waxing nostalgic

Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo is buying a $30,000 wax figure of himself to display in his house.

His first air-conditioning bill ought to be a doozy.

Mishap of the Week

Kansas’ comeback hopes in a 41-38 loss to South Dakota State vanished when Jayhawks QB Montell Cozart fumbled the snap away while trying to spike the ball to stop the clock.

Hold situation

Some advice that shoot-from-the-lip Curt Schilling might be wise to heed: Stick a bloody sock in it.

Truth in advertising

And from the Sometimes These Items Just Write Themselves file comes word that organizers in Hawaii canceled the annual Waikiki Roughwater Swim, citing high surf and ... rough water conditions.

Talking the talk

Comedian Argus Hamilton, on another NFL season set to kick off: “It’s that magical time of year when millions of Americans transition from checking their Facebook page all day at work to checking their fantasy-football lineups all day at work.”

Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on venerable Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully’s 66-year career spanning the terms of 11 U.S. presidents: “And done a better job than just about all of them.”

Headline at SportsPickle.com: “Jason Pierre-Paul blows off leg while celebrating return to Giants.”

New Bears coach John Fox, to reporters, on opening against the Packers a team that walloped Chicago 38-17 and 55-14 last season: “I looked at the tape. They should be confident.”

Connecting the dots

Two Kansas City Royals Kelvin Herrera and Alex Rios are sidelined with chickenpox.

But not any Atlanta Braves. They can’t catch much of anything these days.

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