Fiesta Bowl : Fireworks Begin With UCLA vs. Miami

--If you’re suitably hung over today, you might do well to stay away from the television set until well after the crack of noon.

For beginning at 10:30 a.m. (PST) and continuing for some three hours thereafter, there will emanate from Channel 4 fireworks, bombings, stanza playing, noisemakers, announcer’s wailings, scoreboards detonating and general racket-making as defense-less Miami (8-4) plays defense-less UCLA (8-3) in a decibel delight known as the Fiesta Bowl.

Expect bowling scores. Expect Miami quarterback Bernie Kosar to throw for enough yardage to furnish a small golf course. Expect both defensive coordinators to quit afterward in humiliation. Expect President Reagan to call and issue standing invitations to the White House. Expect each ho9me viewer to be issued a hard hat.

Yes, this could well be the game of the ‘80s. As in Miami 86, UCLA 81. Or vice versa.

Consider that in his last two afternoons spent on the football field, Kid Kosar has helped Miami shoot up opponents for 40 and 45 points, respectively--and each time, he wound up face down in the sand, the loser.

Consider that Kosar will this morning be throwing against a UCLA secondary that, due to injuries, looks like a mission soup line--two freshmen, a sophomore and a senior who has exactly 11 games experience.

Consider that UCLA Coach Terry Donahue, when given a few weeks off to think these things out, is something of a Wizard of Westwood in his own right. In his last two New Year’s Day engagements, Donahue’s teams have scored 69 points in two Rose Bowl victories. Add to that the fact that Donahue has never lost at Sun Devil Stadium. He’s 3-0-1. Then again, Miami Coach Jimmy Johnson has never lost to Donahue. They’ve never met.

So switch on the VCR and save it for parties later. This is pure pizazz. Two good teams moving the ball back and forth so fast you’ll think you’re at Wimbledon. No big national championship pressure. Nobody’s job on the line. Just a good time to be had by all. This could be more fun than a Tim Green press conference.

You’ll be watching players like Miami’s sterling set of receivers--All-American Eddie Brown, All-Sweetness Stanley Shakespeare, and tight end Willie Smith, who has Velcro hands. Of the 67 catchable passes thrown Smith’s way this year, he’s caught 66.

And then there’s UCLA, no wallflower, either. The Bruins are led by a healthy Steve Bono, which is nothing to sneeze at. When Bono has been in good repair, UCLA has won seven of eight games.

Behind Bono will be more chills and thrills. In place of senior tailback Danny Andrews, who is out with a broken leg, will be a flashy freshman named Gaston Green. He ran for 134 yards against USC and averaged 5.3 yards a carry this season, which was 1 1/2 yards better than Andrews. And he scored a touchdown every 23.3 times he carried the ball, which was better than any UCLA back, if you keep track of such things, and Donahue does.

And then there is the UCLA placekicker, John (Certain) Lee, who is such a sure thing on field goals that he may be something of a detriment to Donahue today. Lee, in case you’ve forgotten, set gobs of NCAA records this season while missing only four kicks out of 33--and none inside the 40.

The problem is that Lee is so good, Donahue tends to rely on him excessively. Since field goals still count less than touchdowns, Lee would have to kick 15 field goals today in order to beat Kosar’s 42.5-points-per-game average of late. Then again, maybe 15 is right within Lee’s range.

There now. All of that should take your mind off the fact that one year ago today, these teams were relishing some of their finest hours. A year ago, Miami was beating Nebraska in the Orange Bowl, 31-30, to win the national championship, its first. Hours before, UCLA had trashed Illinois, 45-9, in the Rose Bowl, a feat so compelling that Sports Illustrated ranked them as the next king of college football for 1984.

Great Expectations are a pain in the neck on the schedule, but both teams coped fairly well, considering.

Besides having to deal with a head coach (Howard Schnellenberger) who abandoned ship at the 11th hour, Miami had to play four games in the first 19 days--against Auburn, Florida, Michigan and Purdue. The ‘Canes won three of four.

In all, the Hurricanes played seven bowl teams this year and wound up ranked No. 13. As Kosar will tell you, “One reason I came to Miami was to play against all the best schools. I just didn’t expect to play all of them in 12 days.”

And if you really look at UCLA’s season, you’ll see that the Bruins actually fared better in ’84 than in ’83. They came into last year’s Rose Bowl unranked and with only six wins. They come into this bowl ranked 14th and 15th in the two polls and with eight wins. Timing, you know.

All that’s missing is Miami’s best running back, Alonzo Highsmith, who injured a knee Nov. 10. Which is all the more reason for Kosar and his Kommandos to make noise through the air and for UCLA to answer it, mortar for mortar.

Maybe earplugs will help.