East Coast Journey Not Dull for the Sockers

The three van drivers could not figure out what to do.

Their task was to fit 16 Socker players, their coaches and luggage into their vehicles. And it was a brisk 20 degrees as the Sockers stood on the airport sidewalk in Newark, N.J.

“Why don’t we put them in each van with the luggage in back?” one driver asked.

Another answered, “That’s impossible. I can’t fit luggage into the back of my van.”

“So what are we going to do?” the third driver asked, rather impatiently.

The somewhat heated--and confusing--exchange continued for several minutes. When the drivers finally settled down and settled into their seats, two of the vans were filled with players.

The third? Coach Ron Newman was squeezed in with the luggage.

Life on the road is never dull with the Sockers, but it normally does not take van drivers to keep it lively. The Sockers certainly can create things themselves.

Take, for example, last week’s six-day trip to New Jersey, Baltimore and Pittsburgh.

Newman came within seconds of missing a flight while getting his hair cut. Hugo Perez got locked out of his hotel room while wearing only his jockey shorts. And one player, through crafty telephone work, actually made a few bucks while eating a pizza.

There were mundane moments on the trip. All flights went well despite poor weather and there were no accidents--at least when the team was riding in a van. One driver never picked up the team because he was involved in an accident.

In reality, traveling with a soccer team provides an interesting contrast to traveling with a baseball team.

Sockers pick up their own luggage at each airport. Padres have theirs delivered.

Sockers sit three-across in the coach section on airplanes. Padres either ride first class or get three seats for every two players.

Sockers walked through snow to get newspapers in New Jersey, and they went into a drugstore with an armed security guard to get papers in a bad area of Baltimore. Padres occasionally asked somebody to deliver papers to their rooms--free of charge.

But there is one similarity among athletes in both sports: They play cards by the hour on airplanes.

Here’s a look at the Sockers’ recent trip:

Tuesday--Controversy arose shortly after the Sockers arrived at San Diego’s Lindbergh Field.

A local television sportscaster asked Steve Zungul about his scoring slump. Zungul said he had not been scoring because opponents guard him man-to-man him all the time.

“Can you believe that?” a teammate asked over coffee. “He thinks he’s the only guy on this team that can score.”

At least the flight to Newark, N.J., went smoothly. The Sockers even arrived 10 minutes early, but the arguing van drivers “made up” that time for them.

Jean Willrich, a non-stop talker, had been singing all day. The tune was, “I’d like to have you in my neighborhood.” However, when the team went through a downtrodden area of Newark, Willrich said, “This is not the neighborhood I was talking about.”’

Wednesday--Everybody wanted to tell the story of the great pizza caper, which was performed by a player who requested anonymity. He did not want to look cheap.

The player happened to be near the bell captain’s stand when the telephone rang. He took the order of a hotel guest who wanted one pizza and one sandwich delivered to his room.

The player ordered two pizzas and one sandwich. He went to the guest’s room and gave the man one pizza and one sandwich and kept the second pizza.

He gave the man the bill for two pizzas and a sandwich. The man paid him--and probably complained in the morning to a befuddled manager about the cost.

Earlier in the day, two sportswriters, radio announcer Randy Hahn and Sockers’ vice-president Dick Christman had taken a bus to New York.

All but Christman, who had a business luncheon in New York, came back on an early afternoon bus. The other three dutifully took the bus they were told to take, but were let off a long way from the team’s hotel in Clifton, N.J.

They got off the bus in a not-so-nice area of Passaic, N.J. Sidewalk debris looked like it had been accumulating since Richard Nixon was president.

After the three returned to the hotel, they dreaded the ribbing they would take from Christman if he ever found out.

“Guess what?,” Christman asked upon returning. “I took the bus to Clifton, and I ended up in the wrong area.”

At least Willrich found the right “neighborhood” at the Brendan Byrne Arena. He scored four goals as the Sockers beat the Cosmos, 6-1.

Thursday--It was snowing in the morning. One of the team vans was involved in an accident on the way to the hotel, causing a 45-minute delay before the Sockers departed in a van and three taxis.

When the Sockers arrived at the airport at 11:30 a.m., their 12:10 flight was posted as being delayed. An airline agent said the flight wouldn’t be leaving until 12:55 p.m.

The plane arrived at 12:25. Its doors were shut after boarding at 12:40. But one person was missing. The doors were reopened to let him on just before it takeoff. Newman had gotten a haircut that nearly cost him a plane ticket.

When Newman got on board, the players let him have it.

“What’s the fine?” they asked.

There was no response.

Once in Baltimore, the team bus arrived several minutes late at the airport. Players passed the time with a sidewalk snowball fight.

Friday--Perez found himself in a rather embarrassing position because roommate Jacques Ladouceur’s room key would not work.

Ladouceur came from downstairs and knocked on the door. Perez, dressed in his underwear, went out to let Ladouceur in.

Before Ladouceur could tell Perez to make sure he had his room key, the door closed. There stood Perez in the hallway without his key.

The Sockers were not so lucky that night, either. They lost to Baltimore, 5-4, on a goal with five seconds remaining.

Saturday--Several players received phone calls from their wives, who told them media members had graded them on Friday’s halftime television show. Most players liked their grades because most got A’s and B’s.

“With all of the A’s and B’s, we should be 25-0,” Kevin Crow said.

Crow had been given a B-plus. But two of his fellow defenders let the media know they were unhappy. Gary Collier had been given a C-plus and Brian Schmetzer a C.

By the time the Sockers arrived in Pittsburgh, everybody had loosened up. As usual, Branko Segota was keeping everybody in stitches with his jokes, most of them off-color.

It was 15 degrees outside, so players decided to have fun with the van driver.

“Turn up the air conditioning,” one said.

“Does this thing have a sun roof?” another asked.

“It’s going to get worse,” the driver said seriously. “It will drop 20 degrees tonight.”

The driver was wrong. It only dropped 10 degrees overnight.

Sunday--Time to go home. The Sockers go out in style by defeating Pittsburgh, 7-3.

On the way home, there was discussion about what a couple of former Sockers used to do when teammates slept on planes.

Juli Veee was known for licking players’ faces or biting their ears. Alan Mayer would put smelling salt under somebody’s nose, waking him up in a hurry.

Then there was the story of the Sockers’ return from Tampa Bay after winning the North American Soccer League championship three years ago.

On the way home, players had more than their share of drinks. When they had a stopover at a Texas airport, players told cocktail waitresses about how bad the Dallas Cowboys were.

The waitresses didn’t mind at all. Little did some of the players know that they had landed in Houston, not Dallas.