Commentary : Doctors, Podiatrists and Shoe Manufacturers Love Joggers

Physical fitness, my foot. To me, jogging is the biggest joke ever perpetrated on an unenlightened and unsuspecting public.

I look at a lot of these joggers running down the street in their underwear, with their eyes glazed and gasping for breath while trying to keep from getting hit by motorists or cyclists, and for the life of me I can’t figure out what they’re hoping to accomplish.

Doctors and podiatrists tell me they love joggers. That isn’t hard to understand. Joggers have increased their revenue tremendously with a variety of new problems ranging all the way from those involving the cardiovascular system to the less dramatic but nevertheless serious ones having to do with the legs and feet.

Ahead of even the doctors and podiatrists in their affection for joggers are the shoe manufacturers. The joggers have made them rich beyond their wildest dreams imaginable and now these manufacturers are out there praying no one ever disproves the myth that jogging is good for everybody.

I can hear some of you joggers out there yelling foul, protesting that no one ever said jogging was beneficial for everybody. Well, someone must’ve said it because that’s the general impression which has been universally created or at least the one which so many are inclined to believe.

And if jogging isn’t really good for everybody, but only for some chosen few, show me the doctor or anyone else, for that matter, so all-knowing, so omniscent about the human capacity that he can make such a delicate determination as to whom jogging will help and whom it will hurt. Or maybe even kill.

Remember Jim Fixx and Jack Kelly, the former Olympic sculler? The two of them were in exceptionally fine physical shape. Yet both keeled over and died while jogging although each one of them felt that jogging regularly was helping to keep him in shape.

Ask people why they jog and many say they’re not really sure, but it seems to make them feel good, invigorated. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, except I know many who get the same wholesome sensation without nearly the expenditure of energy from attending a concert, the ballet or a ball game.

Look at it another way. If jogging is really all the fun it’s advertised to be, how come you can never find a prize fighter who’ll tell you he enjoys doing road work?

Some of the joggers I see are going through such physical anguish they look as if they’re about to die. I often wonder why they punish themselves like that and I’m always reminded of the story about the guy who kept hitting himself over the head with a hammer. When asked why he did it, he said because it felt so good when he stopped.

Others who jog, particularly the women, say they do it to keep their weight down or lose some of it. They’re sure going to a great deal of unnecessary trouble. They can do lose weight, and a lot easier, too, by not eating so much.

Maybe it’s my imagination, but somehow most of the joggers I see, especially in the larger cities, are no longer in their teens, but men and women 35 years old and up. I don’t claim to know the reason why jogging seems to appeal more to older men than younger ones except maybe these older men imagine it makes them looks younger and more “athletic.” There may be something to that judging by all the big league baseball and football jackets you see being worn around the country today.

Personally, I think walking regularly will do as much good for you as anything else. And if you need any more than that, swimming strikes me as being far more pleasurable and certainly just as beneficial as jogging. Besides, the chances of not getting hit by a car are much better.

Look, don’t go getting the idea that simply because I believe jogging is a big waste of time I’m one of those guys who’s against all forms of exercise. I’m not.

But if you’re going to do something, do it right. If you’re going to run, don’t just waddle along like a turtle or clog up the base paths. Get out there and sprint as hard as you can so you get the blood really pumping.

I do it whenever the mood strikes me and no one’s in the way. Without even bothering to warm up, and I’m 63. A few baseball scouts as well as others who think in those stopwatch terms have suggested I may be the fastest in the country at 60 yards.

For my age.

People always ask me whether I work out. I tell ‘em the truth: no, I only run to show off.

That serious stuff is only for the joggers.