No Fee, No Fans, but There’s Fun at Celebrity Tennis

With not a trace of hype and hoopla --nor financial incentives--a rather distinguished collection of athletes are playing largely undistinguished tennis at La Costa this week.

It is billed as the Gordon’s Gin Sports Celebrity Tournament, and the competitors play at times as if they have been sampling the sponsor’s product.

And that can be excused, because these folks are just a bit out of their element on tennis courts. Turning some of these folks loose on a tennis court is like asking a sportswriter to cover a convention of nuclear physicists.

However, it was refreshing to find a collection of athletes enjoying the frivolous side of the world of sports. This was fun and games, stars at play rather than stars at work.

There was no admission charged and still no crowd. No one was paid to play and no one would win any prize money. There was no pressure, except maybe getting done in time for lunch.

No one seems to know they are here.

One astonished bystander exclaimed: “I thought I saw Walter Payton.”

He said it as if he could not possibly have seen Walter Payton.

However, that was Walter Payton on La Costa’s Center Court, teamed up with partner Ottis Anderson in a doubles match against Bill Walton and Ahmad Rashad.

Understand that Payton’s moves on a tennis court do not rival his moves on a football field, though his serve has excellent lateral movement. One of his serves twisted off the wood of his racket and bounced against the wall behind him and to his right. It would have made an excellent pitchout.

Payton laughed, and so did everyone else.

Rashad, as it turned out, was one of those who could play tennis. He had a look in his eyes as if he was camped under a Hail Mary pass with the trigger half-squeezed on the final gun.

Rashad, a wide receiver turned television commentator, had the individual lead with 40 of a possible 48 points after two days of doubles competition

The competition is arranged a bit like a square dance. For the first three days, Monday through today, each athlete plays four-point matches with six different partners and both partners get the wins tacked onto their records. After each player has served in a given match, they swing their partners and head for another match.

Obviously, there is some luck in partner selection, which is done by computer.

Hank Greenberg, the Hall of Fame baseball player, is a veteran of this competition. In fact, he has won six such championships.

In each of those competitions, a former football player named Deacon Jones was also an entrant. Deacon was not very good, and Greenberg never had him as a partner.

“I tried to sit down and figure the odds of going six tournaments without playing with Deacon,” Greenberg laughed, “and . . . “

He shook his head. It just had to be astronomical. Greenberg was watching from the sidelines here because of a bad leg. He might be excused, however, because a 74-year-old guy has to spend some time on a disabled list.

Occasionally, the pairings will create a blockbuster of a team.

The Detroit Pistons’ Kelly Tripucka ran into one of those twosomes Tuesday and grabbed a microphone to laughingly bemoan his ill fortune.

“The pairings are unfair,” he proclaimed. “Putting Ahmad Rashad and Reggie Theus together? This thing is fixed.”

Theus finished the day trailing Rashad and former Laker Happy Hairston, who survived despite losing his racket for a bit when he collided with his partner, Doug Burke. A U.S. Olympian in water polo, Burke also survived that Keystone Kops routine to tie Theus and New York Giant quarterback Phil Simms for third place.

If it is beginning to sound like youth, size and agility are being rewarded, consider that Sammy Lee was tied for third after Monday’s competition with 17 points. Not only was Lee old enough to have won Olympic diving gold medals in 1948 and 1952, he was barely tall enough to see over the net. Obviously, he made up in experience and agility what he lacked in size and youth.

Greg Louganis, Lee’s contemporary in the diving world, was 26 places behind him in the standings after Monday.

When Lee decided to bow out Tuesday, the late-arriving Mr. Payton took his place--and his points. Payton added only 10 points to his inheritance and slipped to 10th place.

Of all the competitors, I don’t think any was having more fun than former heavyweight champion Ken Norton. He went after shots as if he were swatting flies and hit his serves as if they were delicate wedge shots, but kept everyone off balance with his jabs of humor.

Teamed in one match with volleyball player Tauna Vandeweghe, Norton shanked a return off the wood and it floated tantalizingly short of the net.

“Hit it again,” he yelled.

Tauna was in the right position to make a kill, but it was the wrong sport.

Moments later, Vandeweghe lofted a shot just over the net--and there was Theus, his eyes as big as hoops. And there also was Norton, doing a little Ali Shuffle--if he will excuse the expression--on the other side of the net. Theus netted his return, and Norton did a little moonwalk in celebration.

“Hey,” Theus protested, “you scared me.”

It could have been worse, I suppose. You’ve never seen anyone play the net unless you’ve seen Bill Walton, Bob Lanier, Joe Barry Carroll or Bill Cartwright with racket in hand. They look like they could cover a net strung between Mexico and Camp Pendleton, not to mention air space up to the space shuttle.

However, no one is ever really scared or intimidated here. They are having too much fun.