Theismann Goes Along With Joke--on Him

According to Christine Brennan of the Washington Post, they were telling all kinds of jokes at Redskin Park after Joe Theismann threw five interceptions against the Dallas Cowboys.

One went like this: Someone called Theismann’s house the next day. The phone rang and rang. There was no answer. Theismann was home, but he had a problem. He couldn’t find the receiver.

Theismann doesn’t mind the joke, even if it is bad. In fact, he tells it on himself.

He even finds humor in his being next-to-last in the NFL quarterback ratings. Philadelphia’s Randall Cunningham is last with a 16.9 rating. Theismann has a 43.2 rating.

“At least, I finally got it above my age,” he said. “I’m rolling.”

Trivia Time: Name a player who played for the winningest and losingest teams in NFL history. (Answer below.)

For What It’s Worth: If 38-year-old Darrell Evans of the Detroit Tigers maintains his lead, he will become the oldest player to win an American League home run title. Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson won titles at the age of 36.

Fred Williams of the Philadelphia Phillies holds the major league record. He was 39 years old when he hit 30 homers in 1927 to share the title with Hack Wilson of the Chicago Cubs.

74 Years Ago Today: On Sept. 22, 1911, Cy Young of the Boston Braves beat the Pittsburgh Pirates, 1-0, for the 511th and final win of his career. He was 44 years old.

Pete Rose, after leaving the Cincinnati Reds in 1978, toured the country with his agent to test the free-agent waters. Their first trip was to Atlanta.

Rose: “We go in to see Ted Turner and we say that we really are kind of embarrassed because we don’t know exactly what to ask for or where to start. And Turner says, ‘How about a million a year for four years?’

“Well, I didn’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt. We leave, and my agent leans over to me and says, kind of quiet, ‘Pete, this might not be so hard, after all.’ ”

Hall of Fame basketball player Bill Russell will make his stage debut Monday in Seattle in a play called “The Former One-on-One Basketball Champion.”

Says Russell, who plays the part of an aging basketball star: “I’d like to be good. I hope I will be. But I don’t think Laurence Olivier is going to stay up nights worrying about the competition.”

Dave Johnson, manager of the New York Mets, on why he won’t allow Dwight Gooden to pitch into extra innings: “He’s going to be here long after I’m gone. I’m not going to let him go beyond 130-140 pitches, even if it’s the last day of the season for the pennant.”

Johnson thought that over and said, “Well, maybe if it’s the last day.”

Trivia Answer: Linebacker Larry Ball. He played for the 17-0 Miami Dolphins in 1972 and for the 0-14 Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1976.

Quotebook

San Antonio Spur Coach Cotton Fitzsimmons, on the use of rookies: “I won’t use one until I see him doing a shaving commercial on TV. Then, I figure he might be ready to play.”