Some Bowl You Over and Some Don’t

THE BOWLS

How low has the Independence Bowl’s prestige sunk? So low that when Minnehaha (6-5) was drafted for the game, Lou Holtz quit as coach of the Go-fers.

Holtz was fortunate enough to find another job opening somewhere in the Midwest and thus won’t have to attend the Indy, the classic that traditionally matches the Big Ten’s sixth-place finisher against the Atlantic Coast Conference’s fourth-place finisher (Clemson). It’s only one of several unappetizing bowls on the holiday menu.

Washington (6-5) had to rally to drop two of its last three games to qualify for the Freedom Bowl against Colorado (7-4), which flopped in three of its final five. No pressure here. As Kris Kristofferson wrote: “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.”

BYU, acceding to a U.N. Security Council resolution, agreed to withdraw from the Holiday Bowl after seven straight appearances. However, Arizona State (8-3) woke up there after its clutch last-game loss, which allowed UCLA to back into the Rose Bowl in the Bruins’ home town of Pasadena.

The Forgettables:

Bowl Perpetrators 1. Independ Minnehaha (6-5) vs. Clemson (6-5) 2. Freedom Wash (6-5) vs. Colorado (7-4) 3. Aloha USC (6-5) vs. Alabama (8-2-1) 4. Cherry Maryland (8-3) vs. Syracuse (7-4) 5. Blue-Gray South (0-0) vs. Opp to be named* 6. All-American Ga Tech (8-2-1) vs. Mich St (7-4) 7. Hall of Fame Idle this year. 8. Holiday Arkansas (9-2) vs. Ariz St (8-3) 9. Citrus BYU (10-2) vs. Ohio State (8-3) 10. Probation Fla.(67 violations) vs. SMU (36)

*North (0-0) ineligible for bowl bids this season due to recruiting violations.

Others receiving votes: Woes Bowl (Missouri vs. Columbia), Satanic Bowl (Duke Blue Devils vs. Arizona State Sun Devils), Blood Bowl (Transylvania vs. Great Neck), Mellow Bowl (Friends vs. Hope), Star Wars Bowl (Air Force vs. Wilberforce), Battle of the Sexes Bowl (Duke vs. Virginia).

VANISHED BOWLS: Garden State, Aviation, Cement, Delta, Gate City, Textile, Mineral Water, Alamo (Forget the Alamo!), Oil, Salad, Gotham (6,166 paying spectators for 1962 finale!).

THE PROS

During practice last week, Cleveland officials hooked up a loud speaker system that played ear-deafening static to prepare the Browns for Seattle’s noisy Kingdome. Cleveland, you see, claims that overzealous fans have jammed the signals of Brown quarterbacks and caused three losses (a single-season record for fans).

Of course, the Browns (7-7) went on to lose to Seattle, 13-31, anyway Sunday. But then the fans were apparently too quiet this time. The Browns couldn’t concentrate. Or maybe the players’ ear drums were worn from the practices.

Problems are rife in the AFC Central Division, where no one’s over .500, and only two teams have even reached that exalted status. Don’t forget, too, that Cincinnati (7-7) has an easy schedule that includes such pushovers as Dallas, a 24-50 loser to the Bungles. (It was the worst loss for Dallas in more than three weeks.)

Meanwhile, the mystery deepened in Philadelphia where Washington got a 12-17 scare from the No. 8 Beagles mainly because a penalty wiped out a 90-yard Washington punt return for a touchdown. Officials identified the offender by a number not used by Washington. TV commentators failed to find the infraction despite repeated replays. The suspect is still being sought.

The Rankings:

Victim, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. AFCCent. Otscrd,121-144 Sunday 2. Tampa Bay (2-12) 7-26, Minnesota Indianap 3. Dallas (9-5) 24-50, Cincinnati N.J. Giants 4. Buffalo (2-12) 7-27, N.J. Jets Pitt 5. Atlanta (2-12) 10-38, Kan.City Minn.

6. Kansas City (5-9); 7. Indianapolis (3-11); 8. Philadelphia (6-8); 9. New Orleans (5-9); 10. Detroit (on the road) (1-7).

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Buffalo (2-12) at Pittsburgh (6-8).

X-RAY OR INCISION?: Philadelphia cornerback Ray Ellis, on his teammates: “I think everybody should take a gut test to see if we want it (a victory).”