McMahon Zany, but Not Crazy

Jim McMahon told the Providence Journal he’s made enough money from endorsements in the off-season that he never has to work another day in his life. Now, all he has to do is stay alive.

The Chicago quarterback isn’t happy about going to London for the exhibition game between the Bears and the Dallas Cowboys on Aug. 3 because of the threat of terrorism.

“I’m not taking my family there,” he said. “Somebody has to inherit the estate if something happens.

“Mike Ditka said he wants to take a machine gun. Hell, we all should take machine guns.”

Add London: Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald said he was told that the game at Wembley Stadium sold out faster than a Bruce Springsteen concert at the stadium.

“After all, the NFL rated third last season on British TV behind soccer and (yes) snooker, and ahead of cricket, rugby, tennis, golf and track and field,” Bayless said.

He said he has been assured that Scotland Yard will provide the utmost in security.

“But I’d still feel a little better if I knew Sherlock Holmes was on the case,” he said.

Add Ditka: Recalling the signing of William (The Refrigerator) Perry last summer, he said: “When Buddy Ryan called him a wasted draft pick, I sloughed it off by laughing and saying it kind of made me look like an idiot because I was the guy who picked him. I showed great restraint because I wanted to kill Buddy.”

Trivia Time: Besides having the same last name, what do Monte Clark, Dutch Clark and Potsy Clark have in common? (Answer below.)

The Bo Watch: Heisman Trophy winner Bo Jackson of the Memphis Chicks, who turned down a pro football career to sign with the Kansas City Royals, struck out on all four of his at-bats Thursday night during a 9-8 loss to Charlotte in a Southern League game.

He is now batting .095 and has struck out 21 times in 42 bats. He has also made two errors in eight games as a right fielder.

Is the baseball really livelier this year? Sparky Anderson swears it is.

“If you take the ball to bed with you at night,”the Detroit Tigers manager said, “it will keep you awake.”

Add Sparky: Of the AL East, he said: “Without Boston, this would be a heck of a race. Can we ask them to leave?”

Now-it-can-be-told Dept.: When Chicago White Sox Vice President Ken (Hawk) Harrelson played for the Kansas City A’s, he used to ride Charlie Finley’s mule, Charlie O.

Some people thought it was demeaning, but not Harrelson.

“I rode the mule for two reasons,” he says. “It was fun, and Finley usually would come up with a new hat or a $50 bill. I enjoyed it.”

Chicago White Sox Manager Jim Fregosi, on why he wears No. 6: “This number played a very big part in my career because of E-6.”

Senior golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez, explaining a tough day with the putter: “The greens were faster than Jerry Falwell walking through Harlem.”

Trivia Answer: All three coached the Detroit Lions.

Quotebook

Darryl Cias, catcher for the misfit San Jose Bees, on why he painted a picture of Charles Manson on the clubhouse door: “I thought it might brighten up the place.”