Theismann Never Was Retiring Sort

Joe Theismann is no longer a Redskin, and Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post said he’ll miss him not so much for what he did but what he had to say about it afterward.

“I love Joe Theismann,” Kornheiser said. “I love the guy because I’m a sportswriter, and there was never anybody better for sportswriters. Sportswriters absolutely, positively have to love Joe Theismann. For the chatter. For the fact that win or lose he was always around to answer questions.

“He was first team all-world media. He never met a microphone he didn’t like. He did ‘Today.’ He did ‘Tonight.’ He’d have done ‘Next Wednesday’ if there was one. He was interviewed on Channels 4, 5, 7 and 9 every night for a week and brought along different clothes for each channel each night.

“We’re talking joyful noise here. On the phone he’ll do 15 minutes on a wrong number, and he’s just clearing his throat. When you reach out and touch Joe, bring lunch.

“Just like on the field, he gave you his best shot all the time. It didn’t matter where you were from. The guy from the 500-watt radio station in Poolesville got as good an effort and as fresh a set of quotes as Brent got on CBS. Joe did the AMs, the PMs, the weeklies and all the ships at sea. We may not hear his like again, and wasn’t it fun while it lasted?”

While Marvis Frazier was preparing for the Mike Tyson fight, somebody suggested that he really didn’t have the build of heavyweight and would be better off fighting as a cruiserweight.

When the question was put to Joe Frazier, he told the New York Times: “Let’s look at it this way. Rocky Marciano, Joe Louis, myself--how many pounds did we go when we started fighting? I got nothing against the cruiserweights, but when you’re a truck, you’re a truck. Marvis is a truck.”

Anybody call the Auto Club?

Trivia Time: What individual holds the USC opponents’ record for the most yards passing in a game? (Answer below.)

18 Years Ago Today: On July 27, 1968, Denny McLain of the Detroit Tigers beat the Baltimore Orioles, 9-0, on a three-hitter for his 20th victory of the season. McLain, the last pitcher to win 30 games, finished the season 31-6.

Woody Hayes told the Chicago Tribune that Archie Griffin was the best player he ever coached and that Jim Parker was the best lineman. He said his best team was the 1968 Ohio State team that beat USC, 27-16, in the Rose Bowl.

“We had 16 sophomores starting on that team,” he said. “They won all their games and beat O.J. Simpson, the best football player I ever saw on an opposing team.”

Now-it-can-be-told dept.: Mike Ditka, in his autobiography, said that coming out of Pittsburgh he signed a contract with the Chicago Bears and met with the Houston Oilers of the AFL the next day, but didn’t tell them he had signed.

“The Oilers offered me a two-year deal for $50,000, and I had signed a one-year deal for $18,000,” he said. “The Oilers probably could have offered me $100,000 and I still would have gone with the Bears.”

Trivia Answer: Joe Theismann of Notre Dame, with 526 yards in 1970. USC still won the game, 38-28.

Quotebook

Luther (Wimpy) Lassiter, pool player, on how he prepares himself for his sport: “I like to practice shooting pistols, rifles, slingshots--things like that. And I spend a lot of time sitting on the curb contemplating life sliding by me.”