Picture This: Lou Holtz as Star of a Video

Is video stardom in Lou Holtz’s future? Perhaps. It seems that the Notre Dame coach is in such demand for interviews that the university will provide video distribution of his weekly news conference via satellite for television and cable services.

The conferences will be available via the Telstar 301 satellite beginning at noon (Eastern Time) each Tuesday throughout the football season.

All of which means media across the nation will be able to tune in to hear Holtz and his fabled one-liners.

What’s next, “The Best of Lou Holtz?”

From Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post: “Admittedly, my track record reveals a certain slowness in spotting trends. I never jogged until this summer, promptly tore the cartilage in my left knee and now face the choice of either having arthroscopic surgery or weighing 230 pounds by Tuesday.”

Ah, hindsight.

Tackle Jimbo Covert says the Chicago Bears have been unfairly criticized for their play in the exhibition season: “Everywhere you go, everything you read says how we aren’t going to repeat, how we’re not going to do this or do that,” Covert said. “We don’t believe it. We are the best and we are going out to prove it.”

The fine print: New York Jets offensive linemen, tired of taking the blame for the 62 sacks endured by Ken O’Brien last season, struck back on the eve of the Jets’ opening game. O’Brien has been accused of holding onto the ball too long in the pocket. So, the linemen donned T-shirts designed especially to keep O’Brien on his toes. The shirts read like a bumper sticker: IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THROW THE BALL.

Department of Incidental Information: All is not lost if a team fails to win its NFL opener, but it certainly helps to win. According to the NFL, since 1978, when the league schedule was expanded to 16 games, a team is twice as likely to make the playoffs if it wins on opening day.

Not counting the strike-shortened year, there have been 98 opening-day games in the NFL since 1978. Of the 98 winners, 46 made it to the playoffs. Of the 98 losers, only 24 made it to the playoffs. Six of last year’s playoff teams won on opening day and four did not.

Add Incidental: It was 13 years ago that O.J. Simpson gained 250 yards for Buffalo against New Orleans, the best opening-day rushing performance in NFL history. Simpson had an 80-yard run and scored twice.

The best passing game on opening day was by Phil Simms of the New York Giants two seasons ago against Philadelphia. Simms completed 23 of 30 passes for 409 yards and 4 touchdowns.

Thomas Boswell of the Washington Post on the booming Senior Tour: “Nothing in American sports remotely resembles the mood that surrounds the laid-back, loosey-goosey, knee-slapping, we’re-not-older-we’re-better world of the old coots golf circuit.

“These guys thought they were ancient history a few years ago. Now, they’ve watched their prize money go from $250,000 in 1980 to $7 million next year.”

Quotebook

Mike Baab, Cleveland Browns center, on exhibition football games: “The purpose of preseason games is to fake a punt, fake a field goal, run a reverse, throw a pass to the quarterback and do a drop kick because all of this will screw up opposing coaches’ game plans.”