At Least, U.S. Open Tennis Titles Will Remain in America

What do we know now that we didn’t know before the U.S. Open tennis tournament?

“How to spell ‘Czechoslovakia,’ for starters,” said Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post.

He added: “Our Czechs, by the way, beat their Czechs. That good ol’ Texas gal Martina Navratilova beat her former ballgirl from Prague, Helena Sukova. In the men’s final, that golf-playing, bagel-munching Connecticut Yankee, Ivan Lendl, beat Miloslav Mecir, who looks like Larry Bird with a beard. Come to think of it, have you ever seen Mecir and Bird together?”

Denver safety Dennis Smith, confirming that a genuine hate exists between the Broncos and Raiders, told Buddy Martin of the Denver Post: “I blitzed one time and Marcus Allen tried to take my head off. So I figured next time I’d try to take his head off. I got him pretty good on the sideline and Bob Zeman, who coaches their linebackers and used to coach here, started yelling, ‘Don’t hit him in the neck, don’t hit him in the neck!’ Hey, we were on the field and almost anything goes out there.”

Smith and Allen were teammates at USC.

Banner at Mile High Stadium Sunday: “Napoleon is AWOL.”

Wait a Minute: John Robinson, arguing that it doesn’t take a great quarterback to win the Super Bowl, was quoted in USA Today as saying: “Stabler, Griese, Bradshaw, Unitas, all of them were real stars. The others were not that good.”

Bart Starr, Joe Namath and Roger Staubach are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Joe Montana should make it, and Jim Plunkett will rate consideration.

Trivia Time: What current college football head coach has the most former pupils playing quarterback in the NFL? (Answer below.)

Some new entries from Chris Berman, ESPN’s creator of nutty nicknames: Barry (U.S.) Bonds, Franklin (Ticket) Stubbs, Kal (Jack) Daniels, Kelly (Churchill) Downs, Dickie (Mara) Thon, Ruben (High) Sierra, Mike (Appo) Maddux, Bob (Ice Station) Sebra, Joaquin (The Dog) Andujar.

The last one, you have to think about.

Oops Dept.: The pitcher who gave up Babe Ruth’s 60th home run in 1927 was Tom Zachary, not Bob Shawkey as Angel announcer Ron Fairly said Saturday night. Shawkey was a teammate of Ruth’s.

Add Zachary: He was pitching for the Washington Senators when Ruth hit his 60th. Earlier in the season, pitching for the St. Louis Browns, he gave up Ruth’s 22nd.

The next season, Zachary was traded to New York and won a game in the World Series as the Yankees swept the St. Louis Cardinals. Ruth hit .625 with three homers and nine runs scored.

How-times-have-changed dept.: From New York Met public relations director Jay Horwitz, who spends most of his time shielding players from the media crush: “I never used to get calls about anything. If I did, I never said no. Now, I’m the most hated man in the country.

“In the early days, the press boxes were vacant. We were pushing stories about Joel Youngblood hunting deer with a bow and arrow, and coaches growing vegetables in the bullpen.”

Trivia Answer: Mike White of Illinois, with five. At the University of California, he coached Vince Ferragamo (Green Bay) and Steve Bartkowski (Rams). At Illinois, he has coached Dave Wilson (New Orleans), Tony Eason (New England) and Jack Trudeau (Indianapolis). Note: As an assistant to John Ralston at Stanford, he also worked with Jim Plunkett.

Quotebook

President Reagan, upon arrival in Denver to stump for a Colorado senate candidate: “On the way in, we met a westbound plane and I think it was the Raiders on their way back to California. I’m sure it was. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen an airplane cry.”