TURN-ONS AND TURN-OFFS IN CURRENT HOME ENTERTAINMENT RELEASES : Excellent Good Fair Poor : VIDEOCASSETTES

“Le Louvre.” Gessler. $99.95. What a seductive idea: the Louvre sans crowds and aching feet. Forget it, unless art delivered on a conveyor belt is your idea of an aesthetic experience. Surveying works in six categories--the Orient, Egypt, Greek and Roman, sculpture, paintings and art objects--a male voice provides snippets of context while an unseen woman announces objects like guests at a ball: “Cycladic idols,” “Venus de Milo, 2nd Century BC,” “Borghese vase, Italy, 1st Century BC.” If there’s a duller way to present magnificent art, I’m too numb to imagine what it might be. Information: (212) 673-3113.