Trader Jack Goes Easy, and for Good Reasons

They call him Trader Jack, but Jack McKeon, general manager of the San Diego Padres, has done little to enhance his image at the winter baseball meetings. Whitey Herzog, manager of the St. Louis Cardinals, has a theory.

“Jack McKeon is in a heckuva position,” Herzog told the New York Times. “He has a pitcher who is in jail, a relief pitcher who blasted the front office and a first baseman who might be his boss. He might be tied up a little bit.”

In order, they are LaMarr Hoyt, Goose Gossage and Steve Garvey.

Attn., Santa: “I know what I want for Christmas,” Tampa Bay guard Sean Farrell says. “I want to get out of Tampa Bay. I don’t care where I’m going, I just want out.”

Ouch: Said comedian Garry Shandling in Sports Illustrated, noting that lava from the Hawaiian volcano was traveling three feet an hour: “That’s one rush Jim Plunkett could avoid.”

Trivia Time: Name the only coach who has coached three different teams in the Rose Bowl. Hint: He also was a head coach in the NFL and a manager in major league baseball. (Answer below.)

From Chicago Bears Coach Mike Ditka, dismissing doubts about Doug Flutie’s arm: “He throws the football as far as Chuck Long, I can tell you that.”

Long, who stands 6-4 to Flutie’s 5-9, is scheduled to start for the Detroit Lions Monday night against the Bears. It will be his first start since the Rose Bowl, in which Iowa was blown out by UCLA, 45-28.

Add Flutie: According to Mike Rabun of UPI, whenever Chicago starter Mike Tomczak came to the sideline in last Sunday’s game, he would be counseled by injured quarterback Jim McMahon. When Flutie came to the sideline, McMahon would be elsewhere.

Said Cincinnati Bengals linebacker Reggie Williams, when asked about the team’s playoff chances: “Character is something that grows. The seed was definitely planted during the off-season. It was cultivated in training camp. Now, all the necessary ingredients for growth are being applied. There have been some early frost warnings, but I think we’re in a position to really bear fruit.”

Reggie went to Dartmouth.

For What It’s Worth: The only other time USC went to a bowl with a lame duck coach was in 1975. John McKay announced after the seventh game that he was going to Tampa Bay. USC was then 7-0, following a 24-17 win over Notre Dame at South Bend. The Trojans proceeded to lose the last four games--to Cal, Stanford, Washington and UCLA--but in the Liberty Bowl, they beat Texas A&M;, 20-0.

Trivia Answer: Hugo Bezdek. He coached Oregon in 1917, Mare Island in 1918 and Penn State in 1923. He coached the Cleveland Rams in 1937 and managed the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1917-19.

Quotebook

Duane Kuiper, former major league infielder who already is playing in old-timers’ games at 35: “It’s not how old you are, it’s how old you feel. And I feel as old as any of those guys.”