On the Way, He Got Case of the South Bends

When Michael Madden of the Boston Globe flew to South Bend, Ind., to cover the Boston College-Notre Dame football game, he had to switch planes in Cincinnati.

“I had never heard of the airline,” Madden said. “Here I was in Cincinnati at 10 a.m., two hours before kickoff, the announcement in the little lounge was telling me the flight was being delayed a half-hour ‘for weather-related reasons’ and I was being asked how much I weigh before I stepped on a baby plane.

“ ‘Does it really matter to your pilot if I weigh 172 or 168?’ I asked.

“ ‘I am your pilot,’ the weight freak replied. ‘And it matters whether you sit on the right or the left side of the plane.’ ”

The plane arrived in South Bend at 11:30 a.m. Madden took a cab to Notre Dame Stadium, arriving five minutes before kickoff.

Madden: “The cabbie was nice, explaining that it is the traditional policy to double the fare on game days.”

Add Irish: From Coach Lou Holtz: “Somebody said to me, ‘How can you call the plays from the sideline because you can’t see anything?’ and I said, ‘Well, that’s the only place I ever watched a game from when I was playing.’ ”

Add Holtz: With teams refusing to kick to Tim Brown, he said: “Next year, after he’s gone, I’m not going to tell anyone he’s graduated. I’ll just put a guy wearing No. 81 back there and see what happens. It’s like someone said, he’s worth 150 yards just by coming out of the locker room.”

Trivia Time: In the 1982 USC-UCLA game, who was the UCLA linebacker who sacked USC quarterback Scott Tinsley on a two-point conversion try, preserving a 20-19 win for the Bruins? (Answer to follow.)

With South Carolina coming up Saturday, Clemson Coach Danny Ford has issued a gag order to his players, but defensive tackle Michael Dean Perry, brother of William (Refrigerator) Perry, says: “It doesn’t bother me one way or the other, because I’m going to talk.”

Said the Associated Press: “After Clemson beat Maryland, Perry was not only discussing South Carolina but was giving out his home telephone number to reporters.”

Gallows Humor: Monday in Arlington, Va., workers were fixing the neon lights on the restaurant owned by Washington Redskins quarterback Jay Schroeder.

Said one worker: “Yeah, we’re changing it to read, ‘Doug Williams’ Restaurant.’ ”

From Oklahoma quarterback Charles Thompson, who has taken over for the injured Jamelle Holieway: “What we lose as far as Jamelle (is concerned) is experience. But I might be more dangerous. I can go 80 yards, and I can break it at any time.”

Add Thompson: According to Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post, his first words as a starter against Missouri were: “This is my huddle, not Jamelle Holieway’s.”

Says tight end Keith Jackson: “He’s gotten kind of bossy since he became a starter.”

Minnesota Vikings linebacker Chris Martin, who played with Bo Jackson at Auburn, told the St. Paul Pioneer Press: “I talked to some friends on the Raiders, and there’s some animosity about him coming in late. There’s some resentment.”

Trivia Answer: Karl Morgan.

Quotebook

Sportscaster Dick Enberg, recalling his days as a Little League umpire: “When parents and kids started arguing with me as I walked to my car, I knew $7.50 wasn’t enough.”