Mavericks a Bit Flat, Then Get Totally Flattened by Lakers

It’s risky to make snap judgments based on the first game of a series, but what the heck. Based on the Lakers’ 113-98 win over the Dallas Mavericks Monday night, following the big clincher over the Utah Jazz Saturday, I think it’s safe to say that for the Lakers, the exhibition season is over.

Playing with an intensity unmatched by any other team on the Forum court Monday, the Lakers breezed.

“It was a little flat out there,” said Michael Cooper, giving a postgame surf report. “They (the Mavericks) thought the fatigue factor would set in. We had to create our own intensity out there.”

Well, watching one fired-up team play is better than watching none.

“The Utah games were a lot more intensely contested,” Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said.

So were the Alaskan primaries.

A TV reporter, confusing his series, asked Kareem, “Do you think Utah was distracted?”

Answered Kareem: “Utah’s distracted, all right. They’re on vacation.”

Kareem’s play on the court was as sharp as his rapier-like lockerroom repartee. I think it’s safe to reveal now that Kareem is really twin brothers. That’s why their last name is hyphenated.

Some nights you see the older twin, who looks slow and tired and 41 years old. Nights like Monday you see the kid brother, the wisecracking street kid who gives you five shoulder fakes, wheels and throws hook shots in your face while you’re trying to untangle your feet.

It was one of those nights when Kareem shows you the difference between being big and being good. It’s one of those nights when he makes you want to go out and do yoga and shave your head and beat the tar out of the youngster next door in a little driveway one-on-one.

With his washed-up brother watching the game on TV from the Abdul-Jabbar mansion in Bel-Air, Kareem Abdul had 13 points at the half Monday, hitting 6 of 7 shots. Lefty, righty, the skyhook was falling, the skyhook was falling.

“It’s a lot easier shooting in there,” Kareem said, alluding to the absence of Jazz center Mark Eaton, who tended to cramp the Lakers’ and Kareem’s style.

Dallas center James Donaldson is almost as big as Eaton but doesn’t have Eaton’s knack of intimidating and swatting drives and hooks.

In fact--and please don’t mention this to the Mavericks, because I don’t want to be the person responsible for inspiring that team to great heights for Wednesday night’s game--but everybody kind of missed the Jazz.

On the thrill-o-meter, this game checked in at about a 4 on a scale of 10, after some Lakers-Jazz games that went off the end of the scale.

There was no Frank Layden to crack wise in the postgame press conference. No Leaning Tower of Eaton, no maniacal Mailman Malone, no daring John Stockton.

For the Mavericks, there was no there there.

They can’t be tired, they had more rest time than the Lakers. Maybe that was the problem.

“We had less time to prepare,” Cooper said, “and we played better because we played more instinctive.”

I don’t know if I buy that. Such theories are generally invented ex post facto, to fit the results. But it’s as good as any theory to explain why the Mavericks came out flat as West Texas.

Another theory would be that the Lakers are just a lot better team, a team of destiny, a team on a mission, a team on fire, a team that woke up a week ago when faced with its own mortality and decided to stand its ground and play to its capabilities.

Then again, who knows?

Maybe the Lakers simply had all their appliances working. They faked the Mavericks into the popcorn machine in the second quarter, giving up a 15-1 run, but blitzed back with their own 10-1 run and took over the game for good.

They popped the Mavericks into the toaster and burned ‘em, then slammed shut the refrigerator and cranked up the trash compactor for garbage time.

Even all the literary inspiration couldn’t help the Mavericks. Pat Riley’s book insulted them, and an Eastern reporter quoted in this paper Monday essentially called Mark Aguirre a pooch.

Aguirre, who worked hard last off-season to take off weight, gained about 240 pounds Monday, as he wore A.C. Green on his neck and was held to 18 points. A.C. himself, hardened by seven games of hand-to-hand combat with the Mailman, scored 14 points of his own.

Maybe the Mavericks need to do some reading between now and Wednesday night. Check the newspaper obituaries, guys, to make sure you’re not in ‘em.

Then let’s see if you can make a series out of this series.