Mason Knew When to Take the Count

Comedian Jackie Mason, after arriving in Atlantic City, N.J., for tonight’s fight, told Joe Gergen of Newsday, “I came here to find out if Mike Tyson is giving away another car. Maybe I’ll bump into him and wind up with a Plymouth.”

Mason said he once fought as an amateur.

“I loved it,” he said, “until someone hit me back. I found out it’s not a sport for short Jewish people.”

His career ended with him on his back.

“The referee started to count over me,” he said. “I told him, ‘Don’t count. Go get a doctor. I’ll count.’ ”

Michael Spinks is his heaviest ever at 212, but trainer Angelo Dundee said, “Putting on weight unnaturally is a bad thing. There is no substitute for nature. There is no instant vitamin or a way to give a guy a jolt.

“He has had to lose something by blowing up. Because of that, he’s going to blow up in this fight.”

Disagreeing was Spinks’ nutritionist, Mackie Shilstone, who said, “He looks a lot bigger than he weighs, that’s the secret. And he’s probably faster than he was against Gerry Cooney.”

Add Dundee: “How is Spinks going to react to the first shot here?” he asked, pointing to his ribs. “When Larry Holmes got him in the 14th round of the second fight, Holmes didn’t have a second shot. Tyson has a third, fourth and fifth shot for Spinks.”

Add Fight: From former champion George Foreman, still looking for another shot: “The thought of me and Tyson getting it on makes me tingle. If we fought, all the people on Geritol would come out of the woodwork. They’d have to make extra batteries so the old folks could tune in the fight on their radios.”

How old is Tommy John? Cleveland Manager Doc Edwards put it this way: “I can remember catching him in spring training with the Indians.”

The year was 1963. That’s 25 years ago.

Maybe Herschel Nissenson of the Associated Press put it best when he wrote: “Tommy John never has won the Cy Young Award, but then Cy Young never won the Tommy John Award.”

Trivia Time: Who is the only man to play and umpire in baseball’s All-Star game? (Answer below.)

U.S. Open winner Curtis Strange, blaming lack of concentration for his 13th-place finish in the French Open, said: “Sandy Lyle told me it took a month to come down from winning the Masters this year. I think it will be a while for me as well.”

Maybe they should talk to Gary Player. In 1978, after winning the Masters, he won the Tournament of Champions and the Houston Open in successive weeks. With 18 holes left, he was seven shots behind Hubert Green in the Masters and seven back of Seve Ballesteros in the Tournament of Champions. At Houston, he was five down to Andy Bean with 15 holes left.

He was 41.

After Baltimore relievers Mark Williamson and Doug Sisk turned a 3-3 deadlock into a 10-3 loss to Boston, Manager Frank Robinson was asked, “Why didn’t you bring in Don Aase?”

Robinson: “I thought I had picked the right men. Evidently, I didn’t. I’m in a slump, too.”

Trivia Answer: Lon Warneke. Representing the Chicago Cubs, he pitched in the All-Star games of 1933, 1934 and 1936 and umpired in 1952.

Quotebook

Michael Spinks, promising not to run tonight: “I want to do him, not him do me.”