Williams Signed Off on That One

They were telling Ted Williams stories at a Hall of Fame banquet once, and one concerned Pedro Ramos, a right-handed pitcher from Cuba.

As a rookie with the Washington Senators, Ramos struck out Williams the first time he faced him. After the game, he went up to the Boston slugger and asked him to autograph the ball. Williams obliged.

A few weeks later, Ramos faced Williams again. This time, on Ramos’ first pitch, Williams hit a 430-foot shot into the right-field stands.

As Williams rounded first, he yelled to Ramos, “Hey, kid, get that ball and I’ll sign it, too.”

Ouch: From Norman Chad of the Washington Post: “The good news about ABC’s Monday Night Football opener was that the kickoff was an hour earlier than usual; the bad news was that someone told Frank Gifford. He showed up at 8 o’clock sharp, ready to occupy air time the way smog occupies air space.”

Chicago Bear quarterback Jim McMahon had this to say about Willie Gault in Sports Illustrated: “When he was traded to the Raiders, I knew we’d be a better team. He always wanted to go out to the West Coast and be an actor. Well, for five years he was an actor playing a football player. Now he’s out there with the real actors. Believe me, our group of receivers is better now.”

Trivia Time: What member of the United States women’s track and field team will be competing in the same event at Seoul that her brother did at Tokyo? (Answer to follow.)

Derrick Rostagno, the former Stanford tennis star from Brentwood who has advanced to the quarterfinals of the U.S Open, drives a 1969 Volkswagen van but left it elsewhere this year because of some bad luck the last time he drove it to New York.

“The battery shoved up against the front and it blew up,” he said. “The potholes aren’t good for this thing. I don’t know how many miles it’s got on it. It says 48,000, but it could be 248,000.”

Add Rostagno: His father, Juan, was born and raised in Argentina but he’s of Italian descent. His mother, Helga, is German. They met in Paris when Juan was studying music and Helga was studying French. They were married in Uruguay. Juan, who has been a member of L.A. Philharmonic, plays the violin and piano. Derrick plays the piano and drums.

From John Thompson, U.S. Olympic men’s basketball coach: “Coaching is not a democracy, nor is education. I learned to say the Lord’s Prayer because a nun beat the hell out of me with a ruler. The ruler had a steel tip, too.”

From Dodger pitcher Orel Hershiser, refusing to gloat over his four strikeouts of Atlanta’s Dale Murphy Monday: “I’ll never take Murph for granted. I plan to pitch him tough in old-timers games.”

When rookie offensive tackle Dave Cadigan reported to the New York Jets, he said, “It’s key for me to do well for this team. It’s like, if you don’t have a carburetor, the car’s not going to work.”

Said Newsday’s Rich Cimini after the Jets lost their opener to New England, 28-3: “Instead of being the main part in the machine, the former All-American lineman from USC was more like a floor mat on the carpet of Sullivan Stadium.”

Trivia Answer: Francie Larrieu-Smith, in the women’s 10,000 meters. Brother Ron Larrieu ran the 10,000 in 1964.

Quotebook

Announcer Joe Garagiola, on umpire Ken Kaiser, who stands 6 feet 3 inches and weighs 288 pounds: “In the offseason, he rents himself out as a handball court.”